#24: I’m going to judge my judgment
I have a big flaw. I am a highly judgmental person, and my first impression of almost everyone is to dislike them. I’m only able to accept them when I’ve managed to figure them out, that is, to categorise them and therefore, communicate within their frequency. I even judge random people on the streets who stand out from the crowd — both in good and bad ways. Having given you a peek into my brain, I’m sure you’re either judging me back now, or don’t want to be anywhere near to this judgmental freak ;)
I’m not sure why I do this, but it’s become a reflexive response. I do start to like people after a few interactions, and learn how wrong my initial assessments were. Or I realise that these ‘flaws’ aren’t really that big a deal. But who knows how many potential good friends I’ve discarded from the get-go, because of this bad habit?
So I have decided that I want to start judging my judgment. I want to pop the bubbles that fizz up to the surface of my mind, and to discipline my reactionary thoughts. I don’t quite plan on questioning all my decisions, because that would be a bit of an overkill. But I’d like to let these thoughts go as they come, to create some space for the other person to fill up as they like. A cracking open of my mind, to let some weather in. I can always shut it again if it’s full of dismal rain. But it’d be such a waste to remain locked up inside myself if there’s a spot of unpredicted sunshine to be had!
So that’s my new challenge for myself. Perhaps it’s not quite judging my judgment, but rather to learn how to let it all go. I’m looking forward to all the opportunities I will be allowing myself to have!
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