#12: Why dignity (not love) will keep you alive

They are the pillars that keep everything upright, without which love too, collapses.

They say that love conquers all, that love is all that matters, that love is all you need. But love will not keep you alive. When you’ve hit rock bottom where your mind and body is worn out, love can lose all meaning. Perhaps it’s just a temporary state, but that’s enough of a pause for anyone to end it all. It can be difficult to love yourself when you’re that depressed, when your own body keeps rejecting you. The love from others can be painful then, a hot iron pressed against your bare flesh. Painful because you feel like a burden, or start to think that their lives would be better without you. You’re a financial liability and a time sink.

Love on the other extreme can morph into obsession, which isn’t healthy either. Too much of anything turns stale or negative. It eats into your thoughts and corrodes your soul. It loses its purity and froths at the mouth. The purpose of dignity isn’t to give or take, but to stand as support. They are the pillars that keep everything upright, without which love too, collapses.

Everything you need in this life has its roots on the inside. It’s vital to know our worth as a human being, through the acquirement of awareness and knowledge. This will lead to sustainable actions which will bring home the material things we need. When we build our perspectives around and derive our actions from material gain, we are giving away our power.

I’ve visited Rock Bottom a few times, but it isn’t always a bad thing. Rather, these bad things that happen are unavoidable, if you’re a human being living on planet earth. How unfortunate it is that the best treasures are usually buried in the dark soil there. Some of us get assigned to dig for a lifetime without any say. Rock solid is found in the earth, and not the sky. Things of the air dissipate.

Sometimes it’s even necessary to take ourselves down into that dark recess out of our own free will. To poke around for answers that cannot be found on the surface, to see what else we can find. If you look hard enough, you won’t just find little treasures, but look upon life herself. I often get tired of living, but I must continue to press on, just because. There is no reason or calculated logic to it; there is no need for any of that. The reason for it is in the being.

*Author’s Note: I am not satisfied with this piece. I feel like there’s something missing, but I have published it in honour of the #100WritingDays challenge. I will probably revamp it for the blog when I get a bit more insight. Thanks for reading!

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