How to have new conversations with familiar people

After a certain point, conversation in most relationships settles in on a consistent set of topics. For friends, it’s catching up: “How’s work? How’s your significant other? How are your parents?” For coworkers, it might be “How was your weekend?” And for romantic partners, it’s sometimes just “How was your day?”

With each person in those groups, the focus might be a little different. I have my sports-talk friends; my political-chatter friends; my life-reflection friends. Friends can be in multiple categories, of course, but usually there are consistent topics for particular people.

This isn’t entirely a bad thing. Familiarity and routine are good things, but they can become, well, routine. Sometimes new conversation can help a relationship evolve and deepen.

There are a few things that can spark new conversations with familiar people. I’ve only stumbled upon these by accident, but I think you could build these into your routine as well.

New Spaces

Spending time with a familiar person in a new space can spark great conversation. This is the beauty of traveling, but it’s possible to do without leaving town. A new hike, a new museum, or even a new neighborhood can provide plenty of inspiration.

New Books

Sharing what you read is a great way to explore new topics. Because what you read is always a matter of choice, there’s always room to pick up books that are sure to get the conversation going.

New People

Bringing new people into the conversation can change its entire direction. One of the first time my brother’s girlfriend joined the whole family for dinner, my dad shared all these stories I’d never heard before. I loved it.

What all of these things have in common is this: adding a new variable to the equation can change its output. Next time you’re in a conversation rut, try adding something new to the mix.

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