I FINISHED MY MEMOIR

Brenda Ray Coffee
1010 Park Place
Published in
4 min readJun 5, 2021

Hi Friends. I finished the memoir I’ve been writing, and it has been the experience of a lifetime. One I wouldn’t have missed for anything, and I have you to thank, because you are the ones who asked me to write it. I am grateful to all of you for reading what I write and leaving me such supportive comments, and in the prologue of my book I have given you the credit.

When it comes time for you to read it you may find it shocking — it will be something you didn’t expect — but it is my truth, and I needed to get it out on the page.

I have also written a book proposal and a query letter. As some of you know they are almost as difficult as writing a book, but I will need them as I embark on my search for an agent and a traditional publisher. Agents are not easy to find. First you have to write a book worthy of capturing their interest, then you need to look for agents who are interested in your particular genre. In my case that’s memoir, and out of this subset you need agents who are open to being queried by writers they don’t know. While there are online tools to help in my search, it is a slow tedious process.

If any of you have connections to a book agent, I would be grateful if you’d touch base and share them with me.

The other day I talked with a friend about reclaiming our lives after the brunt of the Covid storm. During our conversation I mentioned this passage from my book:

I now know it was chamomile the bruja had burned in the scuzzy motel, and tomorrow I will buy a bundle of the same, dried sweet-smelling sticks, tied together with string. I will open all the doors and windows, every dresser drawer and closet door and cupboard full of dishes. I will light the end of the small dried sticks and wave and cleanse away the Nazi spies, the politicians who gambled here and lusted after lost girls and the bad karma left by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I will release the house, and myself, from every invisible force of dark energy, and I will banish all things that have no place in my future.

My friend suggested we all need to have a cleansing ceremony of some sort to put this year of Covid behind us, and I think it’s a great idea. Whether we do it by burning dried sticks of chamomile, opening a bottle of champagne or asking God to help us move safely forward, what if we also take stock of where we are and where we want to be and get on with the business of living. Even if we’ve lost a friend or a loved one to Covid, we must not let this terrible virus rob us of our hopes and dreams.

Hoda and Jenna spotlighted ‘It’s not a Burden’

Another friend has produced a film that will resonate with everyone who has aging parents. It’s Not a Burden is a feature-length documentary that gives us an intimate look at the humor and heartache of raising elderly parents. Most of us have found ourselves in this position — or will — and this touching, funny film lets us know we’re not alone. The film is from the Emmy-nominated filmmakers of HBO’s Packed in a Trunk and you can watch It’s Not a Burden via Cable on Demand and on most streaming platforms. I wish this film had been around when I “raised my mother,” or perhaps we should watch it with our kids as they begin to think about “raising us.”

This week please remember to take time to get still and go inside and hear your inner whispers. We may not think they’re there, but they are begging for us to listen to them. Let us become more connected with our little voice and summon the strength that’s within all of us. Venture forth and make this the best day and the best week you can, because it will never come this way again. #MakeLifeCount

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