🦉 10x curiosity — Issue #87 — The art of influence
Trust and influence — tips to improve your effectiveness.
Thinking…
Trust between people is an interesting concept that can be hard to pin down. It is different between sets of individuals — just because you and I get along, doesn’t mean that I automatically have a good relationship with others in your circle. This is because the interactions we have with each other are different and even the same interactions can be perceived differently. The concept of the “Trust Battery” made popular by Shopify founder Tobi Lütke helps explain this. Before you know someone your trust battery is at 50%. Then with each interaction your battery goes up or down, your job in being effective is to continually charge your battery with those you are working with .
Trust plays a big role in how effective you can be in a role, without it there is very little chance that changes you need to make will be taken on board by others. Relating to this is the work of Robert Cialdini, who’s book “Persuasion” is one of the authoritative texts on the aspects of human interaction that involve influencing others.
Cialdini discusses six shortcuts as universals that guide human behavior, they are:
- Reciprocity
- Scarcity
- Authority
- Consistency
- Liking
- Consensus
Understanding these shortcuts and employing them in an ethical manner can significantly increase the chances that someone will be persuaded by your request.
This excellent summary video takes you through them:
Summarising the 6 points from excerpts on Cialdini’s website and book (unless otherwise referenced)
Reciprocity
People are obliged to give back to others the form of a behavior, gift, or service that they have received first.
So the key to using the Principle of Reciprocity is to be the first to give and to ensure that what you give is personalized and unexpected. — Cialdini
Scarcity
People want more of those things they can have less of BUT It’s not enough simply to tell people about the benefits they’ll gain if they choose your products and services. You’ll also need to point out what is unique about your proposition and what they stand to lose if they fail to consider your proposal.
This draws strongly on the loss aversion cognitive bias. Richard Thaler writes of this in his book “Nudge”
People hate losses (and their Automatic Systems can get pretty emotional about them). Roughly speaking, losing something makes you twice as miserable as gaining the same thing makes you happy. In more technical language, people are “loss averse
Authority
People follow the lead of credible, knowledgeable experts. It’s important to signal to others what makes you a credible, knowledgeable authority before you make your influence attempt. Of course this can present problems; you can hardly go around telling potential customers how brilliant you are, but you can certainly arrange for someone to do it for you. And surprisingly, the science tells us that it doesn’t seem to matter if the person who introduces you is not only connected to you but also likely to prosper from the introduction themselves.
Consistency
People like to be consistent with the things they have previously said or done.
Consistency is activated by looking for, and asking for, small initial commitments that can be made. So when seeking to influence using the consistency principle, the detective of influence looks for voluntary, active, and public commitments and ideally gets those commitments in writing.
People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others. Pascal — Brain Pickings
Interestingly and different from the reciporcity effect, because of peoples desires to be consistent once they have done a favour for you, they are more likely to do another one in future — it would create an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance to not do so. This is the so called Benjamin Franklin effect
Benjamin Franklin, after whom the effect is named, quoted what he described as an “old maxim” in his autobiography:
“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
As Seth Godin points out, culture is built around consistency…
“People like us, do things like this”
Liking
People prefer to say yes to those that they like.
What causes one person to like another? There are three important factors.
We like people who are similar to us, we like people who pay us compliments, and we like people who cooperate with us towards mutual goals.
So to harness this powerful principle of liking, be sure to look for areas of similarity that you share with others and genuine compliments you can give before you get down to business.
Consensus
People will look to the actions and behaviors of others to determine their own.
Rather than relying on our own ability to persuade others, we can point to what many others are already doing, especially many similar others.
Daniel Pink outlines an alternate set of notes on persuasion in his book “To Sell is Human”
Pink explains how three fundamental human qualities — attunement (the ability to take another’s point of view), buoyancy (remaining resilient in the face of rejection), and clarity (helping others make it through the “murk of information”) — lie at the heart of persuading, influencing, and moving people.
Finally you can see a great summary infographic from Entrepreneur here.
Let me know what you think? I’d love your feedback. If you haven’t already then sign up for a weekly dose just like this.
Get in touch… — linktr.ee/Tomconnor
More like this from 10x Curiosity
- Bases of power — Understanding where power and influence comes from
- Serendipity and the Adjacent Possible — Why do many great ideas get discovered at almost the same time? How can you cultivate serendipity and move into the adjacent possible with your work?
- Scaling by doing things that don’t scale
When focusing on the insane little details might be the secret to grand success - Until it sticks… Turning up every day… — Engineers can learn a lot from artists. Quality work over a career doesn’t come from chasing short term fires but rather the discipline of turning up every day and just starting
- Antifragile — Becoming stronger with failure — Antifragile. A thought provoking concept developed by Nassim Taleb in a book by the same name
Links that made me think…
4 Steps To Becoming More Adaptable To Change — www.fastcompany.com
In a world that’s only going to become more complex, here’s how to adjust your mind-set to take the fear out of the inevitable.
Surf Lakes Introduces 5 Wave Surf Technology | Coastalwatch.com — www.coastalwatch.com
The 5 Waves concept allows for learners, experienced surfers and professionals, to surf perfect waves simultaneously.
Why do we feel so busy? It’s all our hidden ‘shadow work’ | Oliver Burkeman | Life and style | The Guardian
www.theguardian.com
Automation has brought plenty of benefits but there’s a human cost
Manage Uncertainty with Commander’s Intent — hbr.org
This post is part of an HBR Spotlight examining leadership lessons from the military. How does your team respond when a plan changes? Does everyone seem to know what to do or is there confusion, a lack of meaningful activity, or people standing around waiting to be told what to do next? Planning is difficult […]