Character #001 ~ Constable James Greenwood. 23. Policeman. Single.
He was fidgeting. It was noticeable, and he stopped.
The blue and green drink coaster lay in wet pieces on the table.
First dates really sucked. He wished he could fast forward to the fifth date. But he had little faith this was heading to a fifth.
He looked up at his date. She smiled, wanting to believe. She asked another question. Her seventh in a row. The gentle interrogation in this unremarkable photocopied coffeeshop continued. He’d chosen it. To her this place was hashtag alarm bells.
“So tell me. What’s being a cop like in this neck of the woods?” she asked out of obligation, and a general concern at the ballooning silence.
“Well I deal with a lot of the usual. Traffic stuff. Drunk people stuff. Lost cat stuff. Stolen smartphones stuff.” he said.
“Honestly, spare us the paperwork if your phone goes missing. Just save your time. It’s gone lady!” he said. He puffed his cheeks out and shrugged, adding a little contrast to his cold conclusion.
She laughed.
“But then sometimes you get something right out of the blue. Like today. My friend Joe was telling me about this old guy. Really old guy. Think of the nicest grandpa you’ve seen on TV. Then think of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now mix them in your mind. See he was cutting down all the trees in the street like a nutter and ranting about chemtrails. And then he’d paint the tree stump with white paint. I mean, what the? Anyway, thankfully I didn’t get that call today. And thinking about it now, I’m happy it went to Joey!” he laughed, the way paramedics might, unmoved and battle hardened.
“Wow. That’s just so bizarre… Like with a chainsaw?” she said.
“Yep! Electric. But still. It’s hard. Because as a cop, you want to just send the nice Grandpa home with a warning. But you’re also trained to sense the lunatic inside of him. The neighbours were freaking out. They all want to press charges. So that was just another Thursday at work. At least for Joe.” he concluded.
She smiled warmly.
“That’s a pretty good story! It’s better for you than for Joe. You get the story without the weird conversation and the paperwork” she offered.
He smiled warmly.
Maybe there might be a fifth date.
