Building A Team To Contest Golden State
Because the world is a predictable place and we all know what’s coming in June, even if we refuse to believe it yet.
There was a possession during the total domination of the Trail Blazers by the Warriors where I went from casually sipping water to achieving basketball nirvana in a few simple seconds. Golden State galloped up the court and then moved the ball around so fluidly I was concerned they may have bent the rules of time in space in a way they could bend bullets in that Wanted movie. Actually, I’m not entirely sure Curry doesn’t do that regularly. Still, the Warriors passed the Blazers into submission, missed the shot, passed them into submission again and scored. If the video to that play isn’t going up on “urban dictionary” for the definition of “stuntin’ on em” as I write this, someone needs to rectify that this very moment.
After watching that play unfold, I felt as if I just emptied a pouch of basketball cocaine on the table and huffed it up with Scarface-like vigor. I also came to a quick realization, that I also texted to well known Heat aficionado Allana Tachauer — “The Warriors are winning this year.” With that acceptance out of the way, I went to bed and slept peacefully for the first time since the Playoffs started. I’ve accepted the inevitable fate of this season.
We don’t want to see the Warriors win because the underdog story is way more fun. Many people prefer Football for this very reason. The unpredictability of a one-game and you’re out structure ads an element of surprise. When you put two teams in a best of seven series, odds are, the better team will always win. It becomes boring. But so is life. Odds are, you will wake up and go to work and your child will look like a combination of you and your spouse with equal athletic ability. And things will unfold as they should unfold. The ‘Superteam’ will win.
Last year, LeBron “Thanos” James saved us from that eventuality when he rose above Earth’s atmosphere to block the basketball’s Avengers’ playoff hopes all the way out of the Oracle, past the Golden Gate Bridge and deep into the ocean. We were granted respite. This year, unfortunately, the script is back on track and the best team in basketball is barreling towards another win. Can anyone stop them?
There are only three contending teams that have a shot at dislodging Golden State this year: Cavs, Spurs, Rockets. The Raptors won’t make it that far because we’re not playing basketball in the mid-90s. The Jazz are two inexperienced. Terry Rozier isn’t ready to be the Superstar Ainge knows he can be. The Wizards aren’t deep enough. I can go on for days. But three teams can. But really, can they? I sometimes play my little cousin in basketball (he’s 13) and I let him score a few and even post me up (I’m 6'5). When he gets sufficiently cocky or confident, I decide that it’s time to end the malarkey and go full out Anthony Davis Foot Locker commercial. Life isn’t fair.
Houston Rockets
Regular Season versus Warriors: 1–3
The Rockets have the best and the worst chances of beating the Warriors for the exact same reason. Volume. You know that scene in 300 where the Persian army fires up so many arrows they literally blot out the sun (one of the most literal “talk your shit, walk your shit” moments)? One, that is a very uneconomical use of arrows, which leads me to believe that the economy of fletchery wasn’t well managed in ancient Persia. Two, that is the Houston Rockets offense in a nutshell. Take your threes.
While the Rockets bring volume, the Golden State Warriors also bring precision and Draymond Green. The Rockets hinge entirely around Harden and Pat Beverly’s ability to Pat Beverly, while facing Steph Curry in particular. They need both of those elements to succeed. The Warriors need to throw Draymond Green on Harden and play eenie-meenie-minie-moe with whoever gets hot for the day. In short, the Rockets need a perfect four games; the Warriors need four good ones.
San Antonio Spurs
Regular Season versus Warriors: 2–1
Gregg Popovich is the Keyser Soze of basketball. The greatest trick he’s ever pulled is that you don’t need a superstar to win multiple championships. It’s like when we talk about the Spurs we forget that the Spurs had Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker and now Kawhi Leonard all in their primes throughout their tenure of 18–50+ win seasons in a row. *record scratch, freeze frame, rewind.* EIGHTEEN. FIFTY PLUS WIN SEASONS. My above-mentioned cousin has only lived in the world where the Spurs are a 50+ win team.
The Spurs are built on fluid ball movement, selflessness and the fact that their RnD facility successful built the first human android and passed him off as an organic entity. They’ve put the clamps on the Warriors twice this year and Kawhi Leonard is quietly having one of the most historical seasons I’ve ever seen in my life at the age of 25 (I’ve made peace with him not winning the MVP, which is absurd). Still, unless you can clone Kawhi (*cold sweat*) you’ll need to call up Tim Duncan and ask him if Tony and Manu can use the fountain of youth in his backyard one more time. The Warriors can still spread the floor very well and force the Spurs to tighten their rotation for the fear of being exposed. Also, I don’t think LaMarcus Aldrdige is built for this.
The Spurs are great at exploiting match-ups as well and you can bet they will find a way to run Steph Curry off and into as many brick-wall screens as they can, but can they really get there for four out of seven?
Cleveland Cavaliers
Regular Season versus Warriors: 1–1
Do — Not — Bet — Against — LeBron — James. *except for maybe versus these Warriors*
The Cavs have felt a little too vulnerable this year, even when completing the sweep of the Westeros Pacers and their internal drama. James can still power up on Bane Venom and carry a team to a win, but it took all of him to do so against the Warriors last year and Golden State powered up by adding another ultra-rare Pokemon to their deck. The Durantula.
LeBron can play a full 48 and there’s a good chance the Earth will implode on itself due to the sheer amount of energy and basketball related things he will produce. The Warriors have four of those guys. And they can rotate them. As the old adage goes, the Cavs have defensive inconsistencies (22nd overall in the league in defensive rating during regular season) and the Warriors are built to exploit (as discussed above). They have four players capable of breaking down defenders, which makes hiding both Love and Kyrie a near impossibility. Last year, Love gave us one of the best defensive possessions of his life and this year he has been passable, but watch that clip again and see how many times Curry had a clean drive by zipping past Love just to cross back in the most non-sensical “boy you thought” sequence of the year, and the one that ultimately cost them this game. You don’t just stop a basketball rampage with 22nd overall defense.
It’s becoming increasingly clear that there are very few chances we won’t see the Warriors take the podium again in June (save us Kawhi-Wan, you’re our only hope), so if there isn’t a team here that can beat them can we build one from the current crop of players that can, in fact, beat them?
Here are some rules; the players cannot be opposed to moving teams, which unfortunately eliminates Russell Westbrook. Russell Westbrook would rather play 1–on-1 versus every man woman and child on Earth than succumb to a perception that he is leaving to join a super team. The player has to have shown some sort of predisposition to building a super team and/or been fluid in their loyalty. This eliminates Kawhi because his algorithm is locked in and he’s a Spurs-lifer now. Finally, I’m only doing the starting five.
Point Guard: John Wall
John Wall has entertained the idea of leaving the Wizards in the past. He also entertained the idea of sending emails titled “WTF” to the management team when he found out how much Bradley Beal was getting paid. John Wall has two qualifications for the Warrior — Killer team. One is that he lives in perpetual belief that he is underrated by everyone who’s not related to him (and probably at least one of his cousins who owns a Curry jersey). Two, he’s a top five point guard in the Association.
Defensively, he has been a strong performer, able to stay in front of his man and cut passing lanes. His speed will give Steph Curry problems and his offensive ability to pump out the NOS out of his sneakers and turn any fast break into a chase scene from the Fast and Furious franchise will make sure that every haphazard behind the back pass by the Warriors is a bucket on the other end. The key to any team that can beat the Warriors is someone to put pressure on Steph; John Wall is that someone.
Shooting Guard: James Harden
This is Harden’s second appearance in this article, and it is well earned. He has already played on two teams in his career, leaving the first one to become the man in Houston. He also teamed up with Dwight Howard to try a super-team of their own. Except that he forgot that Dwight Howard is like the basketball opposite of King Midas.
Harden is the number one villain for the Warriors, because he does everything they do so well. He can handle the ball with ease. He can shoot. He can get to the line. Finally, he can induce the stat-lines that look like someone just randomly threw numbers together and said “screw it, pick the four highest ones.” To beat Golden State you have to make them shift defensively, which is more difficult with Draymond AND Durant this year, but Harden would complement Wall’s slashing ability and leave no gaps for Warriors to regroup under a constant barrage of dribble penetrations.
Small Forward: Jimmy Butler
We’ve arrived on the defensive-necessity part of the roster, except that we also have the luxury of playing “pretty good” offensive players. Jimmy Butler is the best two-way player in the league whose first name doesn’t start with a K and rhymes with “why.” He has slowly expanded his range and the ability to handle the ball well. He’s still at his best as an off-ball player letting guys like Wade and Rondo control the possession before sticking a fork in it with 5 seconds left on the clock.
Defensively, Butler can shift across four positions and cover whichever of the big four this team needs him to. And for the ones that he can’t? Well, we’ll have:
Small-Ball Four: Paul George
Paul George is a goner. Sorry Naptown.
Last year, the Pacers tried a very brief experiment with George at the four, which was vocally rejected by George himself. In this scenario, he is the four in name only as he would basically be playing opposite Kevin Durant (Butler has Green in this hypothetical scenario). Same as Butler, George can morph himself into defending anyone this team would need him to and help eliminate the Curry Durant/Green pick and rolls with their combined length.
Offensively, he would have to hit a lot of three from James/Wall penetrations and not much else. While solid, Paul George’s individual play-making ability is still not on par with James or John, but with a team like this, he will have the simplest role of his life. He will be Kevin Durant.
Center: Hassan Whiteside
The initial instinct was to include Andre Drummond because all this team needs now is post-presence and an advantage on the boards. Unfortunately, the Warriors are like the smartest kid in class who doesn’t let anyone cheat off their paper. They have all the answers. Which means Drummond’s free-throws and unpolished offense make him a liability.
Whiteside has blossomed into an elite shot-blocker who also learned Dwight Howard’s uncanny block-steal ability of snatching the ball and the soul of his opponent out of mid-air as opposed to sending it jet-powered into the stands. He also plays with a surprisingly refined offensive presence and an ability to turn offensive rebounds into improved 2k numbers.
I’m sure this will take some financial wizardry, but someone send this to Daryl Morey.
