My Quest To Lose My Virginity

L_what
18 in the Bay
Published in
3 min readJun 23, 2015

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There she was laying down on my queen size bed naked. I could not fathom what I had gotten myself into. Freshman year opened my eyes to a new world. In middle school you would never see couples kissing, but in high school everything changed. High school was a place where they upped the ante in sexualism. There were stories of girls having sex in the boy’s stalls and they eventually got suspended or expelled. Most people had already lost their virginity, except for me. Out of my six friends I was the third to last person to have not lost my virginity. It was tempting to lose my virginity, at the same time I always wanted to have sex with someone special. My friends always made sex seem as the best thing in the world, it made me think should I lose it already?

I decided, I was going to hit up this one pretty cute girl on my Facebook. She had a beautiful body. She replied back saying “hey”. After talking for a while I finally hung out with her. We planned to met at McDonalds, which was acceptable for someone in high school who doesn’t have a job. I bought her small fries and we began to talk. She was nice and we got along pretty well. I had to put in work before I could make the big move, I had to act like I was interested for her — not for the sex. After eating McDonalds for what felt like forever, we both went home. I thought so much about whether it was worth it — having sex with a person that you don’t care about at all. I was also scared about all the stories of catching any diseases. One of my friends caught chlamydia, he lost his virginity to the girl who gave him the clap. Stories like this made me scared, but at the same time my other friend told me how awesome sex is.

All fears set aside, I told myself I was ready. I asked her to come to my house to watch a movie. I was trying to play it slick, but let’s be honest, who actually just watches movies for two full hours? As she was on her way, I hopped on my mac computer and went on the internet and looked at all these strange positions and how to not cum so quick. An hour passed and I heard a knock on my door, I instantly got butterflies and to this day when I imagine that scene in my head, I still do. I offered her guava juice and some ribs like a gentleman would and proceeded to my room. As we walked into my room she complimented how nice and neat my room was. The thing that she didn’t know was that, I vacuumed my room and picked all the clothes from the floor before she got there. I made the first move and slide right into my bed sheets. I told her not to be shy. I went on Netflix and played Shutter Island. 30 minutes into the movie, we kissed and I started playing with her breasts. As soon as I kissed her, all my fears rushed into my head, but like the horny guy I was, I continued to kiss her. I finally grew the balls to take off her clothes. At first it was pretty hard, well, because it was my first time. It took some pulling and bending but I finally took them off, I probably had broken a sweat already. I’ll never forget the sweet aroma that lifted from her skin as I removed her clothes. Just as I was ready, I suddenly became flaccid.

I could not fathom how this girl was naked for me, yet I couldn’t please her at all. I tried beating my shit, but still nothing. Frustration came and I gave up, I had came to the realization that I wasn’t ready. I never felt so embarrassed in my life. I got my phone and acted like my dad had called me. After she left, I deleted her off my Facebook because I was so mortified.

In the end I learned that I rushed the whole process of losing my virginity. I had no feelings over the girl yet I was trying to fuck her. I came to realize that I was peer pressured into having sex and should have waited for the right time. I want the people reading this young or old to know that every moment comes at it’s place in time and not to rush into anything.

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