Getting Perspective

Single Mom/Solo Parenting:

Was it my choice ?

I sit in front of a woman who radiates strength, determination and a will to continue to support her son regardless of the obstacles put in her way. She is a single/solo parenting Mexican mother who has ensured that her son is raised with the same morals and values that she was raised in — only difference is she’s doing it alone.

I ask her, Is being a single mother difficult?

She looks up, smiles and responds, “Of course it is, do I wish things could have been different? Yes, who wouldn’t? I do, not only for my son, but for all the other things I couldn’t be for him, but tried to be for him. You see, in my eyes, a father is irreplaceable, I was blessed to have a father who, although he was scared to be father, became a father, embraced it, and learned as I grew. He showed me unconditional love, guidance, and continues to do so to this day.”

Did you face any obstacles being a single mother?

“I believe I faced the same obstacles any mother would face being a mother. Individuals don’t know you’re a single mother unless you make it known; which is something I have never done. Quite honestly, being a mother is not an illness, it’s something we refine and learn to perfect or at least try, which is what I’m still working on…”

What words of advice would you give mothers in your situation?

“If you have to be both a father and mother, be strong, approachable, open, determined, forgiving and most of all think about your child’s well being. Be consistent, stay true and don’t be selfish.”

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

“Yes, I would. I didn’t choose to be a single mother, I chose to be a mother — and with that came difficult choices. Some of those choices included not surrounding myself with negativity, making choices that weren’t sound but the best for my son. I do want to say that I have been blessed with an amazing son; he has surpassed every expectation of what a son is supposed to be. He’s 17 years young and has made decisions that someone who is 50 years old would make. I’m blessed to call him my son, I thank him for making me a mother and applaud his successes given as of today and that he has an absent father.”

****For those of you who DAMN being a single mother-don’t ever forget this

A Single mother does twice the work, deals with half the stress, twice the tear, BUT don’t ever forget — You get twice the HUGS, twice the LOVE and twice the PRIDE!

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