virus, banhammer and my life
Definitions:
Banhammer’s definition in wiktionary
My Definition of Banhammer or Mystical Hammer:
A banhammer or mystical hammer is a situation where you are completely isolated and do not know how or when you will be released. This item is usually accompanied by a mild form of anxiety and insanity.
April 14, 2020
I don’t know how it will all end, the virus, the banhammer, and this whole story.
I’ve been here a long time ago and I don’t want to complain right away.
but the whole period of self-isolation drives me crazy, the banhammer crosses painfully, even parcels cannot be received,
my home, like the whole world, is going crazy, but there is already talk of quarantine easing, but we as a risk group, I think, will stay under the banhammer.
I don’t know what to think, how to endure everything, but life no matter what it moves in its furrow.
although some people don’t understand how hard it is to lose the freedom you could ever take advantage of …..
but about it next time
May 17, 2020
banhammer hitting hard, so my life became harder….. it’s not complaining is more about the freedom that I can’t use. I lost track of the time that we are banhammered but something will change in my country, but not in my house where I live.
I try found positive things in this lockdown but every good thing drowned in my negativism and rolling roof.
I hope that not last forever, and everything gets better and after that banhammer, I can hit the road again
June 15, 2020
Today, perhaps, is the last day we live in a quarantine situation. Today, I realized what delicious and precious freedom, a freedom I no longer want to lose. Finally, the stories of the rolling roof are over, and the desire to make the “leap of freedom” is finally over.
Now every day I will look for small miracles in my life and I will cherish every day like the last one ….
Until the next meeting on the other side of the fence.
June 18, 2020
Finally, it’s time to see if I can overcome myself.
My inner wanderer is restless and wants to escape from the boarding house.
I think a lot about it and see those months when we were quarantined and somehow I was able to stay calm I somehow didn’t make mistakes that would cause problems for others.
But now it seems to me that the situation is different when freedom has become full, we have remained close
the wanderer wants freedom at all costs and the promise is given and I will keep it ……
I feel like I’m burning and burning myself again.
Sometimes it seems that a sleepless night can drive me crazy again, and the rest may not happen.
Coffee, a computer, and cigarillos are my nightly recipe.
But lately, I’ve been thinking about quarantining myself and ending it, visiting suicidal thoughts again.
The quarantine will remain in my brain for a long time and then anything can happen….
June 22, 2020
Until the 1st of July. And when you think everything is just a dream in which your destiny and hopes depended only on you. The mythical hammer struck well through my psyche and emotions and it was as if everything appeared like a mirror.
During the quarantine, I learned a lot, both about myself and others. Living in fours brought many challenges, but also experience and a desire to adapt to other people.
Although my inner wanderer suffered, I learned to ask for help and understanding .. although everyone was in their shells. Sometimes it seemed like this whole story would never end, and a mythical hammer would knock you over the head more and more.
My first trip will be around my town where I live… .. and then social projects travel and other life pleasures that were before …… will begin. I am waiting for what fate awaits me after the end of quarantine…
