An Open Letter To Christians Who Appropriate Jewish Christmas
Get Your Sticky Fingers Off Our Scallion Pancakes!
Dear Christians Who Appropriate Jewish Christmas,
Jewish Christmas comes but once a year. It is a festive day in which we Jews enjoy dining on Chinese food and going out to the movies. But, it’s come to my attention that you, my WASP brethren, have begun to appropriate these sacred Jewish Christmas traditions.
So this year, I’m offering you a simple phrase: Stop stealing Jewish Christmas!
More and more, come December 25th, I see you at the movies or picking up Chinese take-out. At first I thought, “Wow, there are a lot of Jews in this town!” But then I realized, “Oh, no these are Christians buying popcorn to go with this new Bond flick.” And if I see one more of you post on Instagram about your #ChristmasDimSum, I am going to punch a blow-up Reindeer.
Look, I’m sorry you can’t stand your family so much that you have to run away to the movies. I get it, family time is rough. But our people did not wander in the desert for 40 years just to have you swoop in and take the good middle seats at Ghostbusters: Afterlife.
We’ve all got roles to play in this life. Yours is to eat gross Christmas ham and dry Panettone with your annoying extended family. And mine is to share…
