Blog Post: Guess Who’s Engaged?!
Hello World!
It’s been so long since I’ve posted one of these updates but I have some insanely awesome news that I just HAVE to share with you all! Guess what…are you guessing something?? Ok, well whatever you guessed is probably wrong (LOL) so I’ll just tell you — IM ENGAGED!
Ahhh!
Omg!
Me?!
Like, can you even believe?!
Anyway, my partner and I kept our relationship a secret for a long time but, now that we’re officially ENG-AH-GED, I think it’s time to finally tell you all about us. What you need to understand is that literally no one in my life approves of our union (that’s why we had to take our love underground). Which is so sick! And twisted! Everyday I’m like, “It’s 2021 — get a grip, bigots!” I just don’t understand how people can be so judgemental. But, I digress.
Cedar (pronounced like Cesar, I know weird, right?) and I met on a rainy, windy night. The kind of weather that’d make Florida go, “Whoa…look at that weather!” I was running around trying to find shelter from the storm and there she was: standing in the middle of the forest with her arms stretched out. I found solace, comfort, and…dare I say…love under those arms. Suddenly I could see — literally! Her arms blocked the rain and I was able to finally look around. She was exactly my type: tall, sturdy, and flakey all over. And she smelled like sap, which is so hot because it reminded me of maple which then reminded me of pancakes…which are also hot!
We’ve been talking every single night since! Sometimes I go meet her in our little spot; anytime we make plans to meet she’s always there before me and she’s never once missed a date. She’s so considerate! Which is why I just can’t fathom why no one in my life wants us to be together. Yes, okay, there’s an “age gap”. I’m only 27 years old and she’s technically been around for 90 years. But I just think that’s part of what makes our relationship so different and fun. I love that she’s seasoned and older. In her culture, the more rings you have, the older you are — I’m always like “Babe, what has more rings, you or a telephone?” and we just laugh and laugh…and laugh.
My dad, however, thinks I’m insane. He’s always saying stupid stuff like, “You can’t marry a TREE!” or “What is WRONG with you?!” He’s even gotten my friends to turn against me; my own maid-of-honor told me she can’t come to the wedding because it “isn’t real”. I asked them what they thought a “real wedding” was and they told me a “real wedding” is between a “person and another person”. Misogyny strikes again!
I’m hopeful the people in my life will eventually come around. Cedar’s parents have been so welcoming and warm — just the other day I tripped and their feet broke my fall. But even if they don’t grow to love Cedar, at least I have you guys. I know you guys will always support me and love me. And because you’re such loyal readers, I think I’ll tell you guys a little secret:
I’M PREGNANT! AHHHH!
Comment below with some of your favorite baby names!
