I, Joe Manchin, Have Tried Everything Humanly Possible To Understand Why I Should Support A Better Health Care System For Your Grandma Right Before Christmas

Rochelle E. Fisher
2 Ho Ho Ho’s
Published in
3 min readDec 21, 2021

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Image: iStock.com

“Senator Joe Manchin III, Democrat of West Virginia, said on Sunday that he could not support President Biden’s signature $2.2 trillion social safety net, climate and tax bill, all but dooming his party’s drive to pass the measure as written….“I’ve tried everything humanly possible. I can’t get there. This is a no.” –The New York Times, December 19, 2021

I really, really, really want us all to be happy and healthy forever. But spending billions and trillions on something as basic as expanding Medicare for the elderly? Come on, now why would you want me to do that? I’ve tried hard to understand why anyone would actually want grandma to stay well so she can enjoy more Christmases, but I just can’t get there. So I can’t vote for this Social Safety Net bill. Sorry — I know what’s good for seniors, and I know what’s good for you.

See, more access to health care for grandma and grandpa will only complicate everything. For one, imagine including coverage for hearing aids. Then seniors will be able to hear better — which will only confuse them more when they can’t follow conversations around them. So their improved hearing will then irritate you. Imagine being…

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2 Ho Ho Ho’s
2 Ho Ho Ho’s

Published in 2 Ho Ho Ho’s

A pop-up humor site for holiday-themed humor. Get some ho ho ho’s from your ho ho ho’s.

Rochelle E. Fisher
Rochelle E. Fisher

Written by Rochelle E. Fisher

Top writer in Satire & Parenting, Rochelle's words can be found in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, Points in Case, Weekly Humorist, Frazzled, and others.