Introducing…Hallmark Christmas Movie Tinted Glasses
May your Christmas be filled with joy, and an unnaturally strong sense of upper middle class polish!
Want your home to look just like a Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie this season, but just don’t have the time, money, or energy? Fret not! Introducing…Hallmark Christmas Movie Tinted Glasses! The glasses that let you see your house in a way only thought possible by living in the world of Hallmark’s many Christmas specials! One that is simultaneously generic and ritzy! So over produced and forcibly relatable, you’ll be surprised it wasn’t done by CBS.
Just put on your Hallmark Tinted Glasses and look down at what you’re wearing now! The finest Nordstrom jacket that normal people like you would have to dip into their rainy day fund to afford, and white gloves that never get dirty! No matter how many snow covered cars you touch or public bathrooms you go into!
And just look at the outside of your house! Every corner covered in garland and wreaths laced with Christmas lights, like colorful weeds growing out of your wall that will surely be a pain in the ass to take down after the holidays! Especially since you can’t afford to pay people to do that for you! Plus so many trees lit so brightly on your front lawn, you’ll think there was another…
