My Love Is Like A Red, Red Object

Christopher Shelley
2 Ho Ho Ho’s
Published in
3 min readFeb 14, 2022

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I don’t have any Valentine’s Day gifts for you

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

My love is like a red, red rose: bought five minutes ago at the corner bodega when I suddenly remembered that it’s Valentine’s Day.

My love is also like a red, red stop sign, which saved me tonight because honestly, if I hadn’t had to wait before crossing the street, I wouldn’t have glanced at the roses for sale outside the bodega and suddenly remembered it was Valentine’s Day.

My love is also like the mostly red, red flag of China, overwhelming those four little yellow stars and one bigger star, as if to remind you that the majority is always right, powerful and strong, meaning, I love you because your good qualities overwhelm your very few flaws.

And since the Olympics are being held in China, it occurs to me that my love is also like an Olympic ring (the red, red one, which could represent your Chinese family), working in harmony with the other four rings that aren’t red, red (which I guess could represent my family, a potpourri of European immigrants), meaning I don’t exactly agree with everything your family does but I tolerate them, because I love you.

While I’m on that topic, my love for you is also like a red, red envelope, the kind your family stuffs with cash and hands out to each other at Chinese New Year, because I respect…

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Christopher Shelley
2 Ho Ho Ho’s

Wedding Celebrant | Speaker | Emcee — Humor in Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, Points in Case. Weddings: www.IlluminatingCeremonies.com