Sexy Valentine’s Junk Messages You’ll Delete, Based On Your Sign
The stars don’t lie!
Valentine’s Season is upon us, and you know what that means: Clearing out countless marketing emails in your inbox, like every other day. Except this time, there’ll be extra hearts and sexy, erotic messaging to boot!
Read on to see what Cupid and the cosmos have lined up for you in your digital tidying endeavors!
Aries
Ooh là là, did somebody forget to click unsubscribe? Looks like your card store is trying to sell you HOT new Valentine’s stationary. As an Aries, you’re used to being in charge, so you’ll have no trouble pressing the delete button on this junk- like a boss!
Taurus
Earth-based Taurus loves all forms of sensuality. So this February, you’ll adore the gentle touch of the mouse on your finger as you drag the local massage center’s Valentine’s email special to the trash. Pure, embodied delight.
Gemini
Omg your fave bookstore is marketing some Cupid-worthy deals. 50% off the kama sutra and romance novels? Yes please, you cerebral, word-loving lover! Nevermind, you got distracted by a bird and accidentally threw this email away.
