Why BITE Isn’t Just Any Old MLM

Heather Talty
2 Ho Ho Ho’s
Published in
2 min readOct 27, 2021
Photo Credit: Vincent Peters

Hey, girl! Sure has been a long time since high school US History, huh? I’m pretty sure we had that class together, or some other class, or maybe we went to different high schools, I don’t really remember. Miss those days! I just wanted to catch up and let you know how much I am loving life, seizing the day, and finding real empowerment these days. The best thing? I can show you how to do it too!

It all comes back to this amazing new product called BITE. I learned about it from my dog’s friend’s cousin’s former co-worker. For only 169.99 to start, you too can be accosted and bitten by a real werewolf!

I can’t even describe the power I feel since gaining the ability to transform into a 7-foot-tall fur covered beast. I’m crushing my workout goals. I’m maintaining a healthy diet of stolen chickens (workout and meal plans for no extra cost!). Even better, since getting my family on board, we’ve gone for more runs than ever before — now that’s quality time!

I loved it so much, I recently joined the ranks as a BITE consultant, which allows me to be my own boss and make my own hours. Let me tell you, that really comes in handy now that I have a monthly appointment with the full moon! Even more exciting, now I can help women find their own power and join this amazing sisterhood of man-eating monsters. Wouldn’t you like to be part of a sisterhood?

Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been missing in life? I know it was for me. While I’m super in love with my amazing husband and two completely perfect children, I found that I missed the role of other women in my life! My dissatisfaction definitely came from that, and not the fact that I’m expected to handle child care, household chores and a nine to five without ever looking a little frazzled. Being part of BITE means that I get to connect with a network of incredible women, even if I have to keep my distance from them three nights a month. Everyone’s game when you’re a ravaging mythical beast!

Now that we’ve reconnected, I should mention that I’m about to launch a big sale, but only for seventy-two hours. For a discounted fee of 168.99, you can start BITE right now! If you’re interested, you know where to find me — I’ll be hanging around your back door. At least until the moon rises!

--

--

Heather Talty
2 Ho Ho Ho’s

Heather Talty is a writer, editor, and dog person. She writes short humor and fiction.