How Triathlons Saved My Life

You can run away from your dark thoughts.

Photo by Polina Rytova on Unsplash

Talking about a broken leg is easier than talking about mental health, although you would argue that one has a bigger effect.

Therapy, pills, and meditation: you name it and I tried it, but nothing would remove the dark thoughts from my head. Thoughts of self-harm, ending it all, and everything in between was continuously on my mind while I was at my lowest.

The only thing that seemed to work at the time was running. I would run for hours, never cared about the distance or pace, I just felt the need to be out there. On every run, the output was the same: I didn’t have dark thoughts.

I became addicted to endorphins and the feeling of just being okay! I could be really dangerous when left with my own head, so I wanted more of that feeling I get from running. I decided to go for triathlons.

Whether it was racing or training for a race, during those times and despite the pain, triathlons were my escape from my thoughts and daily life. They made me feel sane.

Triathlons helped me through the loss of my dad, my divorce, and my career downfall. Those long hours of training helped me control my mental health issues. I know they won’t go away, but at least now they are manageable.

Now I use my training routines the same way a physically ill person would use medication, and I started to understand my head a bit more so that whenever I feel like I’m entering one of my “black tunnels”, I would register for a race.

Science proves that exercise reduces negative thoughts and improve mental well being, but exercise alone is not the solution.

I’ve learned that self-help is the most important step towards helping us manage our mental health issues. To me, triathlons were more of a healthy detachment that helped me get out of my own head.

I once completed a half Ironman race, which is a 1.5kms swim, followed by a 90kms bicycle ride and ends with a 21.1km run.

I did it with zero training time prior to that, and not that I recommend doing an Ironman without training, but it shows how the power behind our problematic minds can also power our solutions.

Athletes often say that the feeling of wanting to quit is ‘all in our minds’ and in my case, the problems and solutions certainly were in mine.

Mental health issues come in different forms, it should not be a taboo: We all need to talk about it, address it, and support whoever is battling with it. And remember, it all starts from within.