The Lessons of Children’s Lessons
Just showing up week after week won’t necessarily yield progress
I often laugh when I watch a group of young children messing around in a sports class as the coach looks on, completely exasperated. The parents are either physically absent or preoccupied with their phones during the sessions. At the end of the season, irate that their children have not learned anything, these same parents feel obligated to complain to the coach.
There are so many lessons and activities these days that it’s hard to keep track. We can pay for our children to go on nature walks or even learn to ride a bike — something that used to be a right of passage for parents. Some classes are meant to fill gaps in the school calendar so that parents can work, children can socialise, and families can simply stay sane. But as children become older and develop interests, things like sports and music lessons become more specialised and progress often becomes the main metric (as opposed to fun).
The thing is, moving up is not about just showing up. Activity leaders are often outnumbered and struggle just to hold the attention of several boisterous children, many of whom want to be there and others who clearly do not. It’s unfair of parents to expect these coaches to foster passion and progress when children are not motivated or encouraged to practise outside of regular lessons.
When households partner with teachers to create momentum in sports and music outside of regular training, progress tends to follow. In my own household, when my husband and I are actively involved and make practice fun, the results have been completely different than when we’ve just shown up for weekly lessons. Going out to hit tennis balls, throw the rugby ball around or just play soccer in the park has not only been great for family bonding but has also exposed the kids to various sports. Their confidence has grown as they have worked on skill development between lessons and matches. Funny enough, my youngest, often too small for organised sports with his siblings, has ended up a great cyclist and baker. Exposure and shared passion matter.
The reverse is also true. Our children have regular music lessons but during periods where we don’t sit with them regularly or prioritise practice, they tend not to progress and then find it’s a chore to start back up from scratch. I’ve even picked up the piano again myself so that we can work through it all and learn together. It’s not pretty, but it helps.
The age-old adage, “Monkey see, monkey do” could not be more applicable. Children often follow and prioritise what they see. They can pick up passions and interests from regular lessons but will need support from their households to develop them further. We cannot expect to entirely outsource activities to lesson providers and get meaningful results. Share your passions and interests with your children and you may end up surprised with what sticks.
