Thanks No. 2: Phone-A-Friend

It was a typical Friday night around the Winston household. By that, I mean, the kids had finally been put to bed, Bridget and I had managed to watch one TV episode on Hulu without falling asleep and it was time to call it a night after a long week. It was 9:31 p.m.

That’s when my phone buzzed with back-to-back texts: “Can we talk tonight please?” “Conference call with the wives?” I laughed and knew that we would not be going to bed anytime soon.

I receive and send a lot of texts. These are not typical texts for me to get — any day or any time. But then again, nothing is “typical” when it comes to my dear friend Will.

And that’s why he and Carey are such a blessing.

For the next 45 minutes, we didn’t discuss our children or baseball or school or work. Since our first son was born 10 years ago, most of my conversations with other adults have focused on these mundane topics of everyday life.

The four of us got on the phone and discussed … marriage. Now this was certainly atypical for us. But not surprising.

In the past year, both families have seen friends go through rough patches in their marriages — leading to separations and discussions of divorce. I thought that our friends, many of whom have been married for a decade or more, were somehow in a “safe” zone and beyond the threat of divorce.

It has been a rude wake-up call for me. And apparently for Will, too. Which is why he wanted to talk.

We didn’t solve any problems. We didn’t cure any ills. We didn’t repair any marriages. And we didn’t innoculate ourselves against marital strife.

But what this phone-a-friend on a random Friday night did was bring us all closer together. It reminded us that our relationships (as friends and as a couple) needed to be guarded and protected. It needed to be cherished and appreciated. And it needed to be worked.

I am thankful to have close friends who can get beneath the surface of small talk about children and jobs to discuss — really discuss — the important issues in our lives.