Never Decline a Full Ride to College
The story of how turning down a full scholarship gave way to life changing self-actualization
According to dream interpreters across the globe, receiving money in a dream means that you will receive the wisdom to live a very prosperous life. You are likely en route to countless blessings from the universe as you ascend towards the epitome of human flourishing.
If you’re lucky enough, those dreams become a reality. It was my senior year of high school when I learned that my college acceptance letter would be supplemented by a full-tuition scholarship to study any science subject along with internships each summer geared towards my interests.
It wasn’t the most well-known institution in the world but it had a solid reputation nonetheless. Part of that reputation could be attributed to its exorbitant price tag.
With a full-tuition scholarship amongst my list of schools to choose from, the choice seemed like a no-brainer right?
The decision
My school decision became significantly more difficult when I learned a week later that I had been accepted to a United States Military Service Academy. I was elated by the news because that was my original life goal and I succeeded.
At the beginning of high school, I made it a point to speak my dream of attending a military service academy into existence every day and eventually it came to fruition.
For my readers who live outside of the United States, military service academies are four-year expense free federal institutions that lead to military officership and guaranteed employment upon graduation. So I would be attending school there free of charge.
Financially at least.There is a minimum five-year military service commitment upon graduating from military academies.
I knew in my heart that I always wanted to serve in the military but I would be remiss if I said I didn’t heavily consider the free education that supplemented it. I wanted to do everything in my power to ease the financial burden for my parents.
Basically, I had two amazing opportunities staring right at me. One was a very expensive, small private civilian school which would cost nothing to attend. The other was a highly prestigious and honorable military institution that also was expense free.
Admittedly, it was my dream to go to this particular academy and it took multiple letters of recommendation, numerous SAT score improvement attempts, physical fitness qualification, Advanced Placement classes with decent marks, multiple varsity athletics, personal statements, student council positions, congressional and senatorial nominations to earn an acceptance.
I overcame many obstacles on the way there so it made the most sense to go to the academy and no one could convince me otherwise. While I was overjoyed by my academy acceptance, I did feel regret from turning down such a significant sum of free money from the private institution.
I knew what I was signing up for, but did not understand the full extent of what I was getting myself into.
Ultimately, the prestige coupled my desire to serve the country fueled my decision to accept the offer from the academy. I signed the all the paperwork, got a physical examination done, sent my transcripts, and my decision was finalized.
Caring about the opinions of others
Like most high schoolers, I cared greatly of what other people thought and how they saw me. My school decision was partly fueled by the prestige of the institution and proving the people who didn’t believe in me wrong.
I always carried myself honorably, but people seeing me on my way to a prestigious academy was the icing on the cake. Sadly as humans, we have a natural inclination to make ourselves look good externally while forgoing opportunities that may be best for us personally.
I learned the hard way that seeking external validation is never worth it as I quite possibly passed up an opportunity of a lifetime.
While I may have missed out on money, I grew and matured in ways that a tuition-free, comfortable private education possibly would not have provided.
Hindsight is always 20/20
Three weeks after graduation, I was shipped off for basic cadet training. We weren’t allowed electronics of any kind for about seven weeks so snail mail was the main mode of communication.
It was only a few days into basic training when I wrote home to my parents expressing great regret from turning down the aforementioned full private scholarship. The letter also may or may not have included some whining and complaining about the heat and getting yelled at.
I finished basic training, went on to barely survive the first year initiation process, the academics coupled with strenuous physical training kicked my immature butt and I eventually found my way back home then transferring back to the private university that initially offered me a full ride.
Fortunately, if you leave a service academy before spending two years there, you do not owe any service time or finances to Uncle Sam. this allowed me to regather myself and smoothly transfer schools.
I attempted to salvage the full ride I earned before but it was too late. Lesson: When opportunity knocks to the tune of nearly $250,000, take it the first time. There likely will not be a next time.
Looking back, I should have taken the money to the civilian school. It probably would have worked out much better for my career and I would have been significantly less stressed.
I entered the academy as a bright-eyed and hopeful boy but returned home a defeated man. I felt like my world had crashed and burned as I thought about how I looked to everyone who saw that I didn’t last there.
Self-actualization
I quickly learned that people are too busy putting out their own fires and dealing with personal stuff to be pointing and sputtering at my failures and that no one really cares.
Military service academies are rigorous and have close to a 20%-30% dropout rate so from the outside, people probably acknowledged just how difficult it was to make it through all four years and earn a degree from them. It was never meant to be for me and that is ok.
I grew in ways that I never imagined. I learned how to defend myself in physical altercations, military history and knowledge, personal finance, taking initiative, and self-discipline.
Failing at the academy gave way to unlocking my full potential which lead to a myriad of opportunities upon transferring schools.
I learned that life is my own race to run. The only person to beat out every day is the person in the mirror. The opinions of others are futile and they should never dictate your life decisions. Do what is best for you, not what others or your parents think you should do.
Furthermore, I made lifelong friends, many of whom are thriving officers in the world’s strongest fighting force.
Don’t be quick to write off failures for they might be the spark you need to propel you farther than you ever imagined.
I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything
I may have some student loans now like most Gen-Zers, but I experienced growth like no other. I am fit, more knowledgeable and now command a certain degree of respect from others.
I realized my self worth and know that I am capable of learning and succeeding in anything I desire to achieve.
I made connections with people who are going to be very important someday that I less-likely would have made had I taken the private school money on first impact.
Do what is best for you and you only. You are the only person who has to live with every decision you make for the rest of your days. The faster you let go of seeking external validation, the faster you find out who you are.
I refuse to live in the past. My setback seemed insurmountable before , but I learned that life is an arrow. The farther it is pulled back on the bow, the farther and faster it goes towards hitting the target.
