The Isolation Crisis
5 Types of loneliness everyone experiences and how to deal with them
Most of the world is cognizant of the physiological implications of Covid-19, however it is no question that mandatory lockdowns and the subsequent cessation of the life we once knew are responsible for triggering an emotion that plagues the soul. Loneliness.
Loneliness comes in many forms; the term is not limited to physical solitude but often applies to friendships and social circumstances. Below, we will discuss the most common forms of loneliness every young person experiences and an easy remedy for each situation.
Feeling out of place
The feeling:
The first type of loneliness most prevalent among young people is feeling out of place. Are you a racial or ethnic minority and have trouble fitting in? Are you a woman in your field with predominantly male coworkers?
Perhaps you find yourself at a social gathering and you find that you may not earn as much income as your counterparts or you can’t keep up with their occupational income. Moments like these often lead to comparison despair.
Every last one of us has experienced instances in which we have felt out of place and could relate to the aforementioned scenarios.
The Remedy:
The easiest way to avoid feeling out of place is take a step back, keep an open mind, and remember that the people in those scenarios are still people. Despite their worry-free demeanors, they could very well be experiencing other internal issues or experiencing the same things you are.
If you find yourself as a sexual or ethnic minority where you work or regularly find yourself, try finding someone you think would make an effort to understand your thoughts and feelings.
They may share the same tastes, fears or ambitions. Maintaining an open mind and conversing with someone during these situations is the best way to tear down that artificial wall of feeling out of place.
Feeling unwanted
The feeling:
Love and belonging rank highly on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. While it may sound sappy and cliché, psychological needs should not be ignored. This type of loneliness is one that has the propensity to leave long-term emotional scars.
This applies to a broad spectrum of relationships which may include feeling unwanted by your significant other or unimportant through your interpersonal interactions at your job.
Remedy:
If you do not feel desired or cared about by your romantic partner, it is important to question why. It could possibly be that they are not truly attracted to you or they do not really see a future with you.
Your value as an individual should not depend on being romantically involved with someone. It is better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t value your time and presence.
Don’t like the mundane or menial tasks you are assigned to do on a daily basis? Level up. What does that mean?
This means you should develop new skills that make you irreplaceable. The more value you add to an organization, the harder it is to replace you. Take initiative and possibly start your own projects.
As you go out of your comfort zone and explore new skillsets, you will learn plenty about your character, perseverance and even technical skills along the way.
The more skills you showcase, the more opportunities you attract. Maintaining the proper perspectives enables you to embrace your current situation. The more honest you are with yourself, the faster you accept the situation and grow from it.
Small Real Circle
The feeling:
This type of loneliness is a keen dose of reality. Ask yourself, how many people have contacted you since the onset of pandemic lockdowns? How many people have you contacted?
The reality is that a whole lot of craziness ensued whether you had to break a housing lease, graduate from school from your living room, find a new line of work because your specific industry collapsed during the pandemic, or had to couch hop until you found your financial footing.
You can no longer meet up at the popular burger joint with your friends like you used to. No more group study sessions at the library and definitely no more weekly bar crawling.
If your power goes out, do you have someone that would let you crash and remote work at their place until it switches back on? If your car broke down, who would you call to pick you up from the roadside?
Many of us have an abundance of acquaintances, but who can we call friends? The ones that would truly be there when we need them in those previously mentioned scenarios.
The reality is, whatever the crisis is, you quickly learn that the amount of friends you can rely on is less than the amount of fingers on your right hand.
Remedy:
While I do not advise you to do this often, I do encourage you to try this slightly annoying test. This is to test your level of friendship with anyone you would call your friend.
Say you both live in the same area. Message them and say you’re stranded at a gas station a few miles from town. A true friend would immediately be willing to help you out. They may search for towing services or drive over and pick you up.
An acquaintance or someone you never really called your friend may answer your call but may make multiple excuses for why they can’t help you or how it inconveniences them.
A true friend understands that it is inconvenient yet makes the choice to help because he or she understands that they would want the act to be reciprocated should they find themselves in a similar position.
Solo mission
The feeling:
The next type of loneliness has become a hallmark of the 2020s and that is the lone wolf, solo individual. People who experience this loneliness feel like everything must be accomplished on their own.
No man is an island, the saying goes. However, the people who experience this loneliness believe that there is no one to lean on or in some cases, asking for help is weakness.
The pandemic definitely has thrown a monkey wrench in the career plans of countless people. This in turn caused people to become creative and embark on new journeys of finding means of making money.
These folks are the solopreneurs who may not have the support of those close to them so they choose to go their own way.
In going their own way, they try to balance their new business while maintaining work, school, and relationships ultimately leaving them mentally fatigued and emotionally anguished as they may believe that they are the only person experiencing what they are experiencing.
Remedy:
While social media may show you the highlights and glamour of being an entrepreneur, it doesn’t show you all the leg work, sleepless nights, or hours of learning it takes to become an expert in the field.
To combat this lone wolf type loneliness, try signing up for a startup school. Allignable.com is a website that comes to mind. It connects small business owners together. With the emergence of online communities, join a Facebook group. You will be surprised at how many like-minded individuals there are in your area code.
If you want to be able to mitigate some of the mental or emotional strain that comes with entrepreneurial endeavors, I encourage you to use some mobile applications that were designed to do so. Platforms like Woebot and Rootdcan help alleviate your stress.
Living alone
The feeling:
While some people love being able to walk around shirtless or without pants wherever they please, they may miss having another person around.
They miss having someone to tell their story about that awkward Zoom call or to chat about philosophy. They might miss the social connections that turned strangers into friends or business partners.
We are social creatures built for in-person contact and communication. Social media can only go so far in making us feel less lonely.
Remedy:
To lessen the feeling of loneliness that sometimes arises when living alone, make an honest attempt to find an online community. What do you dream about or really enjoy? Chances are there are people around the world who fancy the same exact things that who you can connect with through your phone.
Are you a musician? Do a stitch or duet with someone on TikTok or Instagram. You’ll feel less lonely when the comments and likes on your posts start flooding in.
Perhaps you could partake in live chats with friends and celebrities on the new Clubhouse app. Are you a gamer? Twitch is a gaming platform that is budding with users and you can even build your own following.
Your tribe is waiting for you
While person-to-person contact has exited the equation during these Covid times, it is imperative that you do not allow distance to be the reason you don’t cultivate relationships over shared interests. Something great could come about from the friends you make online.
Believe it or not, you’re a walking biography. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and explain to your children and grandchildren why you didn’t make the absolute most out of the vast digital landscape that allowed you to connect with anyone at the push of a button.
Don’t let this pandemic hinder your ability to foster relationships with those geographically far away from you.
Loneliness is a scary emotion which takes plenty of courage and time to pacify.
If you have a phone, computer, and internet, you might be a lot less lonely than might you think.
