Why the Rush?
25 and other lies we’ve bought into.
I’m going to be brutally honest. The first year of your twenties, is hella hard.
20 is the dream… the age where life is supposed to come alive. Supposedly. You’ve finally reached the invincible age. Your hormones are still on overdrive, you’re in university, surrounded by like-minded friends. You can drink and drive and you’ve got your own “apartment”. Life is good. Life is easy.
You’re tormented by the should’s and could’s and should-be’s.
You’re confused by what you should be doing, how to figure your life out, what you’re going to do with the rest of forever. You’re navigating your first career, toying with the idea of who you could be.
Don’t rush it.
Don’t rush it because this is the hardest and easiest your life will ever be.
Go out, drink with your friends. Enjoy your freedom, because this is the free-est you’ll ever be. You don’t need to know what you want, you just need to know what you don’t want. In order to find that out, you’ll need to experience. So go out, experience these un-wants for yourself, on your own time, on your parents dime. Whatever it is, go for it. Try it out. Go live.
Fall into bed with people you’ll “regret”. Drink until you pass out and learn to hold your liquor, or learn what your threshold is. Mingle at parties and make friends — not acquaintances, not networks — friends, because these people who’ll see you at your worst and see you at your best and wittiest, will also end up being people who may end up working with.
Be real. Be goddamned real because nobody likes a liar and nobody likes a fake.
Be unapologetic about who you are and what you want. You’re young. You’re allowed to be young. Allow yourself to be young.
Be passionate. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to do something, be passionate about how much you don’t want to do it. Passion is so, so important. Embrace it, because eventually, your hormones will balance out and that thing you were so passionate about? It won’t burn with the light of a thousand suns anymore.
Fall in love. With strangers, with the cute boy on the bus, with the hot chick who’ll never give you a second glance. Go for it. Do it. Fall in love. That love doesn’t need to be reciprocated, but once in your life, fall. Gloriously, decadently, heartbreakingly in love. Why? That pain will spur you on to amazing things. It will drag you into the pits of hell and you’ll be reborn with the knowledge that you are a fucking phoenix and nothing, not even the most painful heartbreak will be able to end you.
Look at your friends and wonder why they seem so much more put together than you are. Look at your co-workers or the “older people” who surround you, those ones who are only a couple years older than you, and envy them their self-assuredness. Who cares that it’s only what you see and only what’s on the surface? Who cares if they may have monsters under their beds that you don’t know about? You don’t need to know this. What you do need to know is that their easy self-confidence, their faux-grace is something that you want to aspire to. Aspire to it. Grow towards it. Don’t rush to fill your time with schedules and play-dates and whatever it is. Feel pathetic and apathetic and then use that feeling — that low, that depression, that anger and hurt and confusion — and grow.
These are lessons in life that will teach you your limits. These are the lessons that will teach you what you don’t want. These are the lessons that will teach you who you are. These are powerful lessons, so don’t rush through them. Don’t settle for the should’s and could’s and should-be’s.
I wish someone had told me when I turned 20, 21, 22… When I stumbled through my early twenties, drunk and partying and trying to numb the pain, that it’s OK to be in pain. It’s supposed to hurt. You’re in new territory, it’ll be weird if it didn’t hurt. You will never be more confused or lost and you’ll never be more self-assured.
So don’t rush. Take a breath. Enjoy this experience. You are only this age once, so might as well go all in. All or nothing. Live.