4 Fatherhood Lessons I Learned Interviewing Entrepreneur Fathers

So often we feel alone as new fathers and can not help but wonder that we are the only ones that are feeling the way we are or struggling in our new role. I sure did. I felt a range of emotions when I first became a father and one of the biggest was that I was unique in my struggle.

What were other fathers doing to be intentional in their role, especially those that were starting businesses or pursuing a life of purpose?

This curiosity was the origin of the 2centdad podcast. I began interviewing fathers that are pursuing a life beyond the status quo; they are running companies, traveling the world, or building tribes. Why not hear it from the horse’s mouth! From those interviews I have come away with a few insights that I found are challenging but applicable.

For those that prefer reading the content…

Find what works and double down on that. David Cancel the 5X founder and current head of Drift start his day at 5:00am. It’s not that he is a natural morning person but thats what works for him. Due to his work life he finds himself at evening events often so the mornings are his time with his two children. He starts early to get in some habitual journaling and yoga so that he is ready when the kids get up. They enjoy breakfast and he takes them to school. It works for him so he’s doubled down on it and chosen to build his day around that, letting people know that those times are sacred.

Provide your kids with options and not scarcity because scarcity leads to increased demand. David Heinemeier Hansson of Basecamp was quick to point out that “spoiling” is often a misunderstood concept and that the rules of economics have some bearing in child raising. This notion of limiting the minutes of screen time or other activities deemed as “bad” leads to an increased demand and interest by children. David spoke about reward cycles stifling the intrinsic motivation which should be a primary goal. A large take away was providing your children options with the goal of stoking their natural bent and chasing after what they are interested in and want to pursue.

Take your spouse’s needs and put them into your heart and really think about them. Designer Marc Hemeon having gone through the ringer of ups and downs of startups amidst is marriage and raising three children. You will have trials and you will have to swing from one side to the other, balance is near impossible, but having alignment with your family and spouse should be put at the highest point. Happiness is earned and you might fall out of love with your spouse or children but get back in there and invest in them and spend time with them. Realize that its a battle and one feeds the other.

Show your kids other walks of life and experiences to help them in their eventual pursuits. Allan Branch from LessAccounting pulled his kids out of school to spend more time with them but also to take them on adventures to broaden their exposure to the world. At the end of the day your experiences shape your decisions and narrow experiences will lead to a narrow set of choices that are “safer” or “normal”. Whatever position you are in, try and seek out those opportunities to give you children an experience that will broaden their worldview and help them chase a life of purpose.