Why is it hard to talk about disliking fatherhood?
I recently interviewed Jason Fried on my fatherhood podcast and he shared a piece of advice that struck me because it was refreshingly honest. On the topic of recently becoming a father he said
The first few months suck, the first few months are incredibly hard and they will knock you in your face basically. Then 4 months in your son/daughter will smile and little bit and it will change everything. You might not feel anything at first. It is hard to connect. It’s ok, don’t freak out.
What was so refreshing because in a culture of constant comparison and the assumption that everyone else is winning and always happy you feel like a schmuck if you’re not.
Fatherhood is hard. It is even harder if you are struggling because you don’t feel attached to your child and no one told you that it’s OK if you don’t attach right away. The lack of people talking about this phase is crazy. Instead you are made to believe that it is just amazing right away and that you feel and undying love for your child right at birth. And if you don’t then you just feel guilty or like you did something wrong.
Having a conversation about this topic with a soon to be dad is the best way to help. Share honestly how the experience was for you and how it is ever changing. Silence only leads to the assumption that you are alone.
For more podcast episodes and thoughts on fatherhood check out www.2centdad.com and read the manifesto. The world needs great fathers, let’s help each other out.
