“NES Classic Discontinued”, The Story Continued (With Lame Jokes.)

Like taking mushrooms from a plumber.

The NES Classic is based on Nintendo’s Jurassic Nintendo Entertainment System. This time, a meteor was not required to wipe them out completely. Photo from Nintendo.

The NES Classic is down to its last life.

Nintendo announced Thursday that after the end of April, NES Classic consoles will no longer be shipping to homes in North America. The $60 gaming system was loaded with 30 games from the company’s best franchises, and was a great way to fill an inventory slot at the cost of only a few red rupees.

Upon first release, fans (including myself) were going cucco for the chance to journey into the Temple of Time and return to their childhood. They went on a duck hunt for the console at every retail store and website, Yoshi-egging them on to sell them something that was not available at that time. Alas, a memory can only be cherished for so long, and Nintendo decided it was time to use its star power to veto fan’s desires, instead opting to Switch cartridges.

But why was the re-rebooted console so short-lived before the company barrel-rolled out a new gaming system?

Many rumors have circled around the Internet, but an article from Business Insider, where you will get much better information than I can provide, shares some guesses that actually make sense. One of the assumed reasons mentioned in the article was that Nintendo was falling financially — one might say it was Earthbound — and was beginning to panic.

As the company fell down one pipe, though, it resurfaced through another. The Nintendo Switch has been raved about by a Splatoon of online journalists. And, while the company will soon have F-Zero NES Classics left, (don’t misinterpret that,) fans can still use their coins to play the same games on the Virtual Console, which will be arriving on the Switch in due time. (No specific date has been announced…but there has been word of a Peach.)

To those of you who wish to tell me that some references are from SNES games and not the NES, or that the Switch does not use game cartridges, I invite you to put on your Samus suit and screw attack yourselves.

Update: Speaking of the SNES, there are rumors circulating that Nintendo plans to 1-UP itself by barrell-roulling out the SNES Classic. This new console, judging by the supply vs demand of the NES, would certainly emphasize the “watch” in Game & Watch.

These rumors, however, could very well go the route of the supposed Legend of Zelda live-action show that was never going to happen in the first place. After all, the NES Classic did more than enough to harness our nostalgia to transition us to the switch, so I would not be surprised that Nintendo only means to tell us that the magical childhood experience we seek is actually in another castle.

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