No More Free Rent In My Head

Charley Warady
3 Minute Bits
Published in
3 min readFeb 24, 2018

I’m done with housing the useless

Housing Development

The saying goes that no one should be allowed to live rent-free in your head. In other words, we’re talking about resentments. Resentments are a funny thing. They only happen inside my head.

I’m not saying they don’t happen in your head. They might. But it’s my head we’re talking about.

Anger is a natural, human emotion. If someone has to deal with people, he or she is going to deal with anger. I know this applies to me. It’s not easy being the smartest person in the room.

Any room.

Anger goes away. Sometimes, it goes away immediately. But when I’m staring at the ceiling at 2 A.M. having a conversation with someone who is somewhere else, sleeping peacefully…knowingly not thinking about me…

…that’s a resentment.

Those people are occupying a place in my head, rent-free, and they don’t belong there. They’ve set up house, and even decorated a bit. Their furniture is nicer than mine.

Don’t make yourself at home

This has to stop.

I’m not saying I’m going to stop having resentments. Let’s be realistic here.

I’m saying that I’m not going to let anyone live rent-free in my head anymore.

From now on, if you receive an invoice from me at the end of the month, and at the top of the page is the word “Rent,” then you owe me the money I have listed on the bill.

Of course, there will be different pricing. The minor resentments, living on the lower floors, will not have to pay as much.

But there is one person in particular, right now, who is occupying the penthouse and that is going to cost a fortune.

Sorry. I don’t make the rules.

Brain apartment

Believe me…I’m not in search of tenants. As far as I’m concerned, I’d be much happier if the building was empty. But that doesn’t seem to be happening. No more free rides. No more squatters. You’re ruining my neighborhood.

So…from now on…if you’re going to live in my head…

…pay me.

You’ll get my bill.

Don’t forget to buy my newly published book available on Kindle or paperback, “5IVE SPEED.” You’ll laugh until you throw up.

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Charley Warady
3 Minute Bits

A stand-up comedian and author making Stoicism fun. @Medium @Creative Cafe