The Illiteracy Of Literary Agents
They don’t even pretend
On February 14, I wrote a story on Medium called “REJECTED” . It’s a two minute read, and to understand the rest of this story, it’s worth your two minutes to read it. Click on the underlined title above.
I sent a link to the story to every literary agent who rejected my book(which were very…very…many), and the response was all too predictable.
Literary agents don’t read. Or can’t read. Or choose not to read.
My email sent to them said simply:
I think you’ll like my story published on Medium called “REJECTED”. Let me know what you think. It’s a two minute read about “the industry.”
https://medium.com/3-minute-bits/rejected-b41ba532fc5b
Best,
Charley
The responses I’ve received so far have been laughable.
Anne Borchardt, of The GB Agency replied,
“I am afraid your novel does not fit our list. Good luck.
SIncerely,
Anne Borchardt”
I didn’t send her my novel! I sent her a link to an article. A two minute article. Her brain didn’t even click into gear before she had already emailed the rejection for a query.
And her’s was not unusual.
Amelia Atlas of ICM wrote:
“I’m sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I’m sorry to say this doesn’t sound quite like a fit for my list. I wish you all the best with it.
Amelia Atlas”
What doesn’t quite fit her list? An article that takes two minutes to read? She’s absolutely right. A two minute read would be a difficult manuscript to sell. I’m sure that’s what she meant…right?
Anyone who has browsed the list of bestsellers on Amazon and have read any of them, knows that it doesn’t take a genius to be a literary agent and to sell a manuscript if he or she so chooses. The feasibility of literary agents actually being brain dead never occurred to me.
Okay, so here’s one more (of the many), just so you get the point and enjoy it as much as I have.
Michael Carlisle of InkWell Management, kept it short, sweet, and nonsensical: “My answer of 9/18 holds. Try others.”
I wasn’t querying! I’m not the idiot here!
The debate on self-publishing continues to go back and forth. I would love to have faith in literary agencies and major publishing houses or independent publishing houses. But I have tested the waters of the literacy of literary agents, and so far, they have failed miserably.
I am not angry or spiteful. I am enlightened.
I set the bar way too high when I sent out my queries for my novel. I truly felt I would be dealing with professionals, great sales people, and lovers of the art of literature. People who were not afraid of a challenge; in fact it was one of the reasons they loved their craft.
It turns out that they’re dregs just like the rest of us.
