Caught In the Online Spin Cycle

Day 10–30 Days of Writing to Refresh My Mind

I admit it. I’m caught. I’m caught in the endless rounds of checking online stats and social media accounts. I’m an addict. It’s true. It’s time I admit this to myself.

I feel grateful for the progress I’ve made in my Just Rolling with It journey. I feel frustrated to be caught in the same online spin cycle though.

It starts in the morning. It ends in the evening.

Making my round of email, Instagram, Medium…OK, it’s draining even thinking about it. Really. So I’ll stop.

Doing this brings on mild feelings of depression and anxiety. The act of flipping through feed after feed, mindlessly, without awareness, is an anxiety inducing act for me. Tension builds in my neck, since my head is craned to stare at the small screen. Tension builds in my stomach, hoping, anticipating and hoping some more that SOMETHING, ANYTHING, might be happening.

Checking my stats brings on a mild form of depression and disappointment. That BIG THING I’m searching for rarely, if ever, happens. All the cycle does is reinforce my storylines —

• Nobody’s reading my stuff
• Nothing’s happening
• Why am I doing all this ANYWAY?

The rest will have to wait. My son woke up from his nap.

Until next time, Day 8’s in the books.