The disabled dating website with a difference
Disabled dating website chatandmingle.co.uk doesn’t charge members a fee to join. Nor does the site run any adverts. Instead, Debi Ghosh explains, she funds the service entirely out of her own pocket.
“It’s hard, I won’t say it’s easy,” she tells me. “I work full time and a lot of my money goes into making the website. It takes a lot of time as well, although I’ve got someone who helps me with the admin work.”
It was Debi’s day job which inspired her to launch Chat and Mingle. “I work with blind people, managing a service in Lincs called the Association of Blind Asians,” she explains. “Some of the people who come to the organisation told me horror stories about past relationships. They were treated badly and cheated on. The psychological effects were terrible.”
“Their partners had all been people without disabilities. People who aren’t in the same situation sometimes find it difficult to understand the problems disabled people face and the way they feel. Some people also target vulnerable individuals.”
Debi Launched Chat and Mingle in December 2013, with the aim of helping single disabled people connect with each other. While other similar sites do exist, she tells me that one thing which sets chatandmingle.co.uk apart is the multicultural character of members.
“A lot of sites are much more white,” she says. “I wanted to help people meet very like minded people and people from similar cultural backgrounds. We welcome everyone and have members from a range of different religions.”
Chat and Mingle’s 195 members are affected by a variety of different disabilities, physical and mental. Debi explains that she puts a great deal of effort into getting to know each new person individually.
“I put a lot of time into scrutinising members. I ring people up to check they are genuine”
“There are those who prey on the vulnerable,” she says. “I put a lot of time into scrutinising members. I ring people up to check they are genuine. People don’t always give a phone number, but if not I will chat to them using email and try to scrutinise if they are genuine. I can also look on social media.”
Chat and Mingle also operates a second service, to provide friendship opportunities for individuals who are carers for disabled people. “Carers have a lonely life,” Debi says. “Their needs aren’t recognised, they’re in isolation and they often want to speak to someone.”
“Two days ago I was speaking to a man about how hard it had been looking after his wife for many years. The couple have been separated for many years, but he felt he could not abandon his caring responsibilities. He goes every day to take her from her bed, do the shopping and cleaning. He’s looking for someone to talk on the phone with and share some of his problems.”
While the site has not yet had its first wedding, Debi points out that it’s still early days: “It has only been a year and a half, but people have certainly made friends.” Who knows what the future might bring.
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