31 Days, 31 People
Day 05: DANNY

I had an older brother once.

My brother always seemed way more grown up than he actually was. When I look back and think about him being only 15 years old, and 6’2” when he died, it kind blows my mind how mature he was.

I remember my mom telling me once when I was older, how my brother used to help her with Christmas. My dad in those earlier years was not into the whole Santa thing, or was occasionally just not home on Christmas eve so my brother, as a 7 or 8-year-old kid, would wake up really early and help my mom make it look like Santa came so his two little sisters would have that whole magical experience.

My brother built my first BMX bike out of parts he had accumulated in the garage. It was a good bike. I remember the chrome Torker frame and the Redline forks. It was my first bike that didn’t have a basket on the handlebars or a banana seat. I could officially ride with him and his friends if I could keep up. I couldn’t keep up very well. I raced a couple times, but I was never very good at it. He was really good, I have a bunch of his trophies on my shelf here.

Danny was a musician and an artist. He could play guitar and drums but was the bass player in his band. He introduced me to every metal band I still listen to. He introduced me to a lot of music and love for music. I remember the hours he’d spend drawing Eddie the Head (Iron Maiden) and lots of other inspired horror creations. He drew a lot and was a perfectionist when it came to lettering.

I know we had typical little-kid sibling sorts of arguments and I was definitely the pesky little sister a lot of the time but finding those memories is somehow so much more difficult than finding the good ones.

Every once in a while I wonder what our relationship would be like if he were around today. I wonder what kind of work he’d do, if he’d have a family, if he’d live nearby and if we’d hang out around the holidays. I was 11 when we lost him to a car accident. The memory of my parents telling my sister and me that news is as fresh and sharp as it is fuzzy.

Danny was someone who taught me more than I can possibly share, who loved me, protected me and occasionally gave me shit about things. I’m so grateful for my 11 years having Danny as my big brother.



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