34 lessons learned in 34 years

Aline Santos
Nov 6 · 3 min read
  1. The primary barriers to moving forward are self-imposed. Aim to be both a student and a master of your mind & body. You make the call.
  2. No one owes you anything: your parents, your partner, your company, your boss. No one.
  3. Between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind.
  4. Dress well. People treat you better if you do. But first and foremost, dress for yourself.
  5. No one is better (or worse) than you. People are in different paths and frequencies. Be kind and patient, with everyone, as much as possible.
  6. It’s all about perspective: ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.’ (Wayne Dyer)
  7. Value your presence and your voice. Learn that some people (family members included) and situations no longer deserve your focus, time, and energy.
  8. Confidence is sexy and attractive. If you don’t know what you want, be up front and respectful of other people’s time.
  9. There’s no right way, but there’s always a way. Be creative.
  10. If you are lucky enough to still have parents around, call them. Make time and ask them questions. Learn about a time when there was no you in the picture.
  11. White privilege effects will most likely impact and hurt you (personally, professionally, academically…) Still, I am a firm believer in the mantra ‘the harder you work, the luckier you get.’
  12. Give yourself permission. Permission to start over. To call it quits. To love who you love.
  13. Don’t be pulled in all directions — there’s a limit to the time assigned to yourself. It is your obligation to spend it wisely.
  14. Everyone makes mistakes. Know when and how to apologize and learn how to recover from them, quickly.
  15. Be wary of all career and life advices, including mine, as you figure out what’s right for you.

16. How you do it is more important than what you do.

17. An essential life skill (no really taught in school) is the ability to negotiate. You got to learn how.

18. Actions are ‘bigger’ than words. Your actions always affect how people see you.

19. Steer away from the ‘Will this be on the exam?’ ‘This isn’t in my job description’ mentality. Opportunities and amazing things happen when you go above and beyond of what’s expected.

20. One of my favorites: ‘If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.’ (Brene Brown)

21. Show up. [But don’t work on your birthday. Do your favorite things on your day]

22. Always aim to do your best. By doing so, you put yourself in the best place for whatever is next.

23. You need to have and nurture a support team. You can’t do it alone. Ask for help. Give help.

24. Have a dog…or a cat, rabitt, pig, or a monkey. It doesn’t matter what you have, I garantee their presence alone will make your life better.

25. You are either doing it or not doing it. ‘I’m trying to lose weight. I’m trying to exercise more, I’m trying to quit smoking, I’m tyring to find a better job.’ You are either 100% committed or not. Trying is a cop-out. Don’t bullshit yourself.

26. LOVE. For love grounds and orients you. Love will open your heart and mind. To yourself and to others.

27. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Don’t get caught up in comparing your life-career accomplishments with someone else’s. There’s no right timeline for X and Z. There’s only your own timeline.

28. ‘What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean? said Pooh. For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me.’ KEEP IT SIMPLE.

29. Laugh.as.much.as.possible. Laughing is a very powerful and cheap medicine for your health.

30. Anytime you are going to grow, you are going to lose something. Lose familiarity, lose relationships, lose places, and even lose a part of your self.

31. Speak up. Take up space. Be brave to do and ask for things you believe you deserve. Don’t be the type of person who wait for others to give you permission to do the things you want to do. Be the kind of person who grant yourself permission.

32. ‘I think I deserve something beautiful.’ You become what you believe. My life has shown me over and over how true this is.

33. ‘Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.’ (Oprah Winfrey). Be extremelley careful with the type of people you surround yourself with. Sometimes, you are your best company.

34. The essential thing I’ve learned (so far) is to always be myself. And to love myself as I am: a human-being in continual progress.

34 lessons learned in 34 years

‘Have a magical day.’ Curious mind x seeker soul. Brazil > US > Canada. Currently based in Toronto.

Aline Santos

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34 lessons learned in 34 years

‘Have a magical day.’ Curious mind x seeker soul. Brazil > US > Canada. Currently based in Toronto.

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