Unforgiveness

Last time we discussed forgiveness and how it restores the standard for a person to be made new and whole. We discussed how a lifestyle of walking in forgiveness is a choice. It takes real courage concentrated effort and prayer for a person to make that decision. Today I want to talk about unforgiveness and what happens when we choose not to forgive.
You may have experienced some trauma in your lifetime, as we all have. Disappoints that seem to never go away, which might include; a broken heart, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a respected friend and this list can be enormous. These things that happen could have hurt you so traumatically that you made the statement “I will never forgive them for what they did!”
Let’s look at scripture and see what it says for those that make the choice NOT to forgive….

Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor (Matthew 18:21–35 (NLT)

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[i] who sins against me? Seven times?”22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![j]23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.[k] 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold — along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned — to pay the debt.26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.[l] He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[m] from your heart.”

In the King James Version it says it this way: 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

What might some of the tormentors be because of our unwillingness to forgive?

Worry, sickness, stress (fear), bitterness, resentment, retaliation, rage, anger, hatred, violence, murder, not sleeping, works of the flesh and this is just a particle list. Please note that all of these are fear based.

At times it seems impossible to forgive but the Word of God tells us that ALL things are possible. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling, not an emotion but a choice. It is something that you do for yourself by God’s grace and mercy.

Mark 11:25–26 NLT
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf states it like this “Forgiveness is a choice — An act of your free will. It enables you to release all those toxic thoughts of anger, resentment, bitterness, shame, grief, regret, guilt and hate. These emotions hold your mind in a nasty, vice-like grip. Most importantly, as long as these unhealthy toxic thoughts dominate your mind, you will not be able to grow new healthy thoughts and memories. “

Dr. Don Colbert says forgiveness is like taking an emotional shower: it cleanses and frees the entrapped soul.

In the her book “Who Switched Off My Brain” Dr. Caroline Leaf says forgiving someone is: Not making excuses for someone’s behavior, BUT it is forgiving despite behavior, not ignoring pain or hurt, BUT it is leaving that person in God’s hands, not a weakness, BUT IT IS a sign of great courage!

Make a choice today to forgive it will make such a difference in your life!!