POLITICS

Celebrating the Wit of Senator John Warner

Recollections from his one-time aide-de-camp on the day of Warner’s funeral in Washington

Today we mark the life and legacy of former Virginia Senator John Warner. Warner was the last in a long line of statesmen. He fought in World War II, Korea, and served as a Secretary of Navy. He also endorsed Obama, Biden, and Roe v. Wade. And through it all he was the second longest serving Senator from Virginia between 1979–2009.

I first met Senator Warner in 1999. This picture below was his favorite of himself. He liked the hair clipped at the front.

I came into his Senate office at 23 to be his “driver” but he quickly pointed out that, “We do not have drivers in the United States Senate, we have aide-de-camps.” And there you have it. I was his aide-de-camp.

I would drive to the Senator’s large apartment in Alexandria House, or the A House as it was known, in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. I was quite a rascal but I was good at tennis and the senator was GREAT AT TENNIS. There is an indoor tennis court at the intersection of the Dirksen and Hart Senate Office Buildings. We played most days at 3:00pm.

One day in the locker room of the tennis court I said to the Senator, “Senator, you have great political hair.” He shot back, “Truer words have never been spoken!” Haha. Still makes me laugh.

One day we were driving down to Lynchburg, Virginia and we had stopped somewhere for gas. I turned to the Senator in all 23 year old sincerity and inappropriateness:

“Senator, why didn’t you ever run for President?”

The Senator was very kind and patient. He turned and looked me in the eye.

“Well Chris, I’ve lived a somewhat colorful life. I have been married to one of the wealthiest women in the world, the most beautiful woman in the world, and now dating one of the smartest women in the world. So I think I’m doing alright.”

I was of course being ridiculous and he was ever the southern gentleman. He was married to Catherine Mellon, Elizabeth Taylor, and at the time was dating Barbara Walters.

My last story is about how the Senator would cook me breakfast in the morning in his suit with a captain’s hat on his head. I quite like breakfast so when he told me to grab the newspaper and sit down I was excited. And then he put it on the table: grilled fish.

Well I hate fish so I pretended to eat and then waited for the Senator to leave the room. I ran and hid the fish in the refrigerator. There was no way he would spot it. Well he came back into the kitchen and said, “You finished?” I said, “Yup.” And then it happened. He started digging around in the fridge.

He pulled out the plate with the fish on it. I thought I was doomed. He put the plate on the counter and walked over to the phone. He picked it up and started to dial. I was in shock. And then I heard Susan Magill, Senator Warner’s longtime Chief of Staff, on the other end of the phone. The Senator said, “Your boy is hiding his food. He’ll be ok.”

And there we have it. We remained friends while I was in D.C. even when I went to work on the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and he was Chairman of the Armed Services Committee. He was a good and decent man. And did I mention how good he was at tennis!

Dr. Christopher L. Pepin-Neff is a Senior Lecturer in Public Policy at the University of Sydney.