9 Clear signs a man is not available

By Kim Sarrasin at From Attract Your King

When the series Mad Men ended last year, as a soulmate expert, I reflected quite a bit on the character Don Draper — because he displayed so many traits of a certain type of guy I’m sure you’ve come across in your dating life.

Let me explain…

We’ve all been there. You go on a date with a guy and (to your delight) as the date progresses he increasingly morphs into your ideal perfect “10”. You can’t believe how much you have in common. And all night he’s starting sentences with things like “on our next date, we should go________” And you end the date feeling amazing.

Then, radio silence. You never hear from him again.

This guy throws you a few crumbs — maybe an entire slice of bread if he’s feeling generous. And all you hear are crickets rather then your phone ringing with his promised invite to that gallery opening/ event/ second date he alluded to.

If you’re like most women, you hit replay and review the date in your head in case you were seeing things that weren’t there — or worse — what you possibly did something wrong that turned him off so badly he never called again.

Well, don’t go there girlfriend — or misinterpret this type of behaviour from a man. Believe me, it’s not you, and all over there with him.

This is a category of guy I refer to as Mr. Available Unavailable. And I’ve witnessed this type of man blindside some of the smartest, sharpest, savviest friends and female clients in my inner circle time and again.

There are many traits this kind of man will demonstrate. Once they’re pointed out to you, it’s going to be much easier for you to recognize (and avoid) him. So let’s explore 9 clear signs a man is not available:

1. Flirts with you like crazy but never asks you out.

2. Has “reasons” why he’s not ready for a relationship right now.

3. Will see you during the week but then disappears all weekend (or vice versa).

4. Still has another woman somewhere — or let’s you know he’s still getting over someone.

5. Will bond intimately with you — but then disappear — for a while or forever.

6. Never plans a date — consistently calls you spontaneously/ last minute.

7. Will see you when it’s best for him, but then he’s “too busy” when you want to see him.

8. Evasive about the future, and won’t define if you’re a couple or not (because he doesn’t like “labels”).

9. Despite being clear you prefer to talk on the phone, continues to text/ email you.

To make it easy for you, if a man is sharing how excited and ready he is to bring a woman into his life forever — and every action he demonstrates backs that up — he’s committed.

Anything less then that, and he’s not. It’s just that simple.

With Mr. Available Unavailable, you will overall feel a lot of “push/ pull” energy. He’s in, then he’s out. So, to save yourself the heartbreak, confusion and frustration spending your precious time with a guy who’s not committed, pay close attention not only to what a man says — but what he does!

Want to avoid attracting the wrong type of men for good?

Originally published at medium.com on September 21, 2016.

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