Bias in Dating: Why you’re still single

I’ve not dated for a while. Not since The Break-up.

Eight months and counting.

“Get under someone to get over someone” people say. I guess that is the rite of passage, so to speak.

I’m taking a different approach. It involves looking at dating without necessarily dating. Why should I be allowed to comment on dating if I’m not going to be a slave to it, you might ask. Let’s just say, I have a repertoire of hilarious, magical and for-fucks-sake dates. Besides, I’m not totally ruling it out.

The modern dating world can be a screwed up place. It can feel forced, needy and judgemental. Let’s take our wingman, Tinder. A false economy. Lining up multiple romantic prospects without needing to change out of last night’s pants? Sounds like a great deal. Splashing out on expensive dates, laborious texting and loss of spirit? Maybe not. I’d rather reserve repetitive wrist action for the real deal, thanks.

How is it that we have so much choice, yet we can’t find The One?

It’s not them, it’s you.

I’m not saying you’re not a perfect human being– dam, we haven't even met (yet). You’re a catch! But like every other eligible bachelor/bachelorette, it’s possible you’re killing your chance of blissful romance with bias.

Everyone uses biases. Biases are the unconscious mental shortcuts we take every day to make decisions. And in a world full of delicious options, we are hella bias.

If we can understand why we make these decisions, we might have a better shot at stomach twirling, mind tantalising, mutually indulgent love.

This is for singletons. This is for anyone who can’t understand why they’re still watching Netflix with their cat. This is for me. And if for some reason I teach you something useful and you find yourself sweating vows under a champagne arbor on the coast of Fiji, I’d like my invite in the post please.

Read #1 of Bias in Dating “I will never date a ______ again

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