I swear I do it mostly for your entertainment.
Ok, I can’t back that up. I do it for my entertainment.
First of all, I matched with him when he just so happened to be driving on the freeway that runs past my house. In actuality, he lives hella far away! Over an hour. I never match with anyone that is that far away. I don’t see the point. When will you ever see each other? Ridiculous.
So that is how things started out, with him saying Hello Beautiful and me saying….you live too far away. And I could have just left it at that. But I didn’t. Sometimes I’m too curious for my own good. I like asking questions. I check the music compatibility. That turns out well. I ask him my most important question, “Do you like hockey?” and the answer is, “Ha! Do you already know me?”
Now things are interesting. Some flirting. Some more questioning. I find out that he is an Aries. And I say, “Yes, yes, my sweet. I do know you.” The universe has been throwing Aries at me like I’m in the middle of asteroid field. Seriously, enough. All of the shields have been damaged by direct hits. I tell him, “The road would be rough.” This I know to be true.
Back to hockey talk. We lost our game last night and there was a fight. Which I declared to be dumb when you are playing beer league hockey. He says, “Fights are good.” I say, “They are silly, I just hit people with my stick if they do me dirty.” Yep, he noticed do me and dirty in the same sentence. I might have thrown that in for fun. Alright, I totally did. I wanted to see if he would run with it. Somehow “dirty boy” talk starts and we get to a point where he says that he likes being watched.
Oh, yes, the good stuff. “In the same room or through the open blinds?” I enquire. The response, “Either or both.” The word orgy comes out. Ok. Hold up! Everyone stop what they are doing, because I need to know about this. And then he proceeds to tell me all about what he has been up to for the last 7–8 years. How he has dated married women. How he is friends with lots of swingers. How he has gotten to a point in his life where it would be nice to have one of his own to share.
I have to tell you, it hurt my stomach just thinking about it. The thought that someone would try to find me, just to share me with their friends. So I told him good luck, because that situation sounds horrific to me. I must be more sweet and innocent than I thought. He laughed at that. And I seriously intended that to be the end. But I couldn’t let it go! I had to know more. Like a fucking cat that is being killed off by curiousity and I’m probably down to 2 lives by now. I ask all kinds of questions. And he answers them.
So I ask the one. The one that has been plaguing me. The one that makes no sense to me. “If you had great sex with someone would anything make you stop?” And he replies, “No. If she’s single, I’d want her forever.” Thank you total stranger from Tinder. And my stomach started hurting in a completely different way.
