The thing with standing me up
Apparently it’s very in vogue at the moment, because, in the last week I’ve been cancelled on three times. Twice by the same guy.
If you really don’t want to go on a date, then at least have the courtesy to give me more than 90 minutes notice. I mean, do you not think I have a life? Yes, I’m a dating blogger (although 99% of my dates don’t know this), but this doesn’t mean I sit at home arranging date after date in a desperate bid for page views. I have friends, a career, a social life and I’m a busy lady. Even bloody Travelodge rooms can’t be cancelled without incurring charges. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of Mr Ocado and Chill’s book and start billing these idiots for my lost time.
The thing with Tinder/Happn/Bumble etc, despite its’ giant pool of ready to bone men ripe for the picking, is that it harvests this belief that the people you’re sending these messages to for hours on end aren’t actually real. We’re so disconnected from them, that for some, it seems OK to just screw them over and cancel at the last minute. You wouldn’t do it to a friend, because there would be consequences, but here, in the tangled world wide web of online dating, you get away with it. And why do you get away with it? Because strong confident women like me are too scared to tell you off for fear of seeming like a crazy psycho bitch.
On Sunday morning, after the third cancellation, I cried. Not out of a ‘woe is me’ sadness, but out of anger and disappointment with myself that I’d given him another chance. I typed a message out to him, “You know it’s not really OK to do this, once maybe, but twice is just rude. And you’ve left it so late that it’s difficult for me to make alternative plans. Poor form mate.” Within seconds I’d deleted it without sending. After all, what was the point? I wasn’t interested in seeing him after he’d displayed his aptitude at being such a let down, and I knew that he’d be reading it and probably laughing at me with his mates. “What a crazy bitch, she doesn’t even know me and she’s trying to tell me what to do already.”
So what’s a girl to do? Would you give someone who cancels another chance, and would you tell them off? Because I for one have no damn idea, except for the fact that having a hangover is a damn shitty excuse.
Originally published at nobaddatesjustgoodstories.tumblr.com
