Eradicating an Existential Threat

I was on my way home for a lunch break when I saw something that fucked up my day. I saw a woman in what appeared to be hazmat gear. What was she doing you ask? She was spraying herbicide on the ground at a park. Not more than 15 feet away from her kill zone children were at play on the playground equipment.

Children were playing on swing sets and slides as their parents watched. The parents said nothing. I said nothing. The agent in hazmat garb said nothing. We all exchanged awkward glances secretly acknowledging the depravity before us.

How did this become a permitted practice? In the year of Our Lord two thousand and twenty two when we have already established a link between certain fertilizers, herbicides, insecticides and a whole suite of diseases such as Alzheimer's, how could this possibly be a thing?

It’s as if we’ve collectively overlooked this emerging science and risked it all to protect ourselves against the true existential threat: dandelions.

For the first time in my entire life, I googled a phone number and voiced a complaint. It felt good. I now understand why Karen’s do what they do.

The irony is that in this same district in a few weeks a big Alzheimer's event will happen. I wonder if the workers in hazmat garb will be out there that day too?