Happy 45th Anniversary Mom and Dad
Nearly nine years ago, the world lost an outstanding man. My brother and I lost a father. And my mother lost her husband.
Today, the three of us got together to celebrate my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary.
Everyday I think about my father. But there are certain dates on the calendar that make me think about him that much more. Birthdays, anniversaries and the day he passed away are always going to be rough. They’ve got a little less rough over time for me. For my mother, however, days like today are particularly painful.
After spending a morning at the cemetery with the family, I couldn’t help but think about two things on my drive home.
First, I thought about how special my father would make their anniversary each year. Some times it was a trip, or a cruise, and other times he’d put his Culinary Institute of America bona fides on display and cook up an amazing dinner.
Secondly, I thought about what each of my parents was doing when they were 40. I had to do some math on a weekend that wasn’t football-related. It took me a bit to figure this out. But I got there.
When my father was 40…
My father was 40 in 1993. I was 12 going on 13, in the 7th grade and 8th grade later that year. My brother was 16, in sophomore/junior years of high school who just starting to drive my mother’s Ford Escort. So when my dad was 40, he had two teenage sons, including one who was old enough to drive. We both were in Catholic school, which meant tuition, and college was looming, so that meant 40 year-old dad was working ALL…THE…TIME. Almost all the time, actually. He did take every other Sunday off and would occasionally take a weeknight off to watch his sons’ basketball games, especially if they were big games against a rival.
When my mother was 40…
My mother was 40 in 1998. I was 17 going on 18, a senior in high school and a freshman starting college later that year. My brother was 21 in his senior year of college. He was old enough to drink legally. And so when my mother was my age, she had two sons in college.
Thinking about my parents at 40 was a fun little thought exercise. It was also quite eye-opening. I honestly can’t fathom having two kids in college at this point in my life.
I have to give my parents all the credit in the world. One, because I feel like I had a phenomenal childhood that was full of love, support and encouragement. And secondly, man, they were young! How did they do what they did at such a young age?
I have no idea. But whatever they did, I think it worked.
Thanks Mom and Dad!
Tim Hammill is a communications professional in the nonprofit sector. He’s turning 40 on October 20, 2020. He’s writing about the final stretch to this milestone age in 40 Days to 40, a collection of stories, thoughts, reflections and whatever else comes to mind each day. In addition to writing a blog, Tim has also decided to donate his birthday to This Is My Brave, an organization he very recently learned about that brings stories of mental illness and addiction out of the shadows and into the spotlight. If you’d like to support Tim’s birthday fundraiser, go here.
Additionally, there are three other organizations that are close to Tim’s heart: Save the Children, Stand Up To Cancer and the Bridgeport YMCA. Click on each to learn more and to support their work.
