My love-ish letter to Los Angeles. Part 2 of 3
Note: I’m a few days behind. This was supposed to be my Sunday post. No excuses, I just didn’t get around to it. Sorry. I’ll try to be better at it.
Sunday, September 20, 2020–30 Days to 40
If you didn’t read the previous post, part 1, you should go here to read part 1 now.
From November 2004 until May 2010, I called Los Angeles home. When I think about that time in my life, I feel… a lot. Lots of things in one container all at the same time. Like a parfait of emotions. It’s heavy layers of joy, melancholy and nostalgia with a big scoop of “what if’s” and a couple dozen sprinkles of “things happen for a reason” on top.
We started with joy in our previous post, and today we’re going to the melancholy. We’ll wrap it up in our next post with nostalgia and the toppings.
Melancholy
Melancholy is kind of sweet sometimes, I think. It’s not a negative thing. It’s not a mean thing. It’s just something that happens in life, like autumn. — Bill Murray
What better day to use this quote from the great Bill Murray than on the first day of autumn? And the day after Bill’s 70th birthday.
I do often think about my time ending in Los Angeles like autumn, and I actually had never even seen this quote before today. It’s funny to make that connection, considering autumn barely exists in LA. But nearly every year of my life as a New Englander when summer ends, I get slightly bummed that the hot weather, all of the things that make me love that particular season are going away, and that I didn’t do everything I wanted to do with my summer. This year, that feeling started last week when I sadly had to break my 156 day streak of wearing shorts.
Once I get past the initial feeling of being discouraged that another summer has passed me by and I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do, I start to think about my favorite aspects of the fall. Football, my birthday, leaves are pretty, and maybe some other stuff that I can’t come up with on the spot. I’m sure there’s other things I like about autumn. Oh right, PUMPKIN SPICE!
And so, I guess this is a three-paragraph-long way for me to say that I feel the same way about LA, as I do about another summer that got away. It’s another time period in my life where I had fun and I accomplished some things, but when it was all over, I couldn’t help but think I could’ve done so much more with that time.
Say what you will about LA, and I’m sure you can say quite a bit. But what I loved most about it, even more than I loved the weather and spotting the random celebrity in a food court, was that Los Angeles was full of ambitious and creative people. I don’t know if this is true, but I believe Los Angeles is the side project capital of the world. (Notice I said “side project,” and not “side hustle,” because a hustle would imply you’re actually getting paid to do this thing on the side.)
Soooo many people all over the city are working a regular paying job while also working on some sort of creative venture like: writing a thing, recording a thing, playing in three bands, hosting karaoke nights at bowling alleys, cooking vegan meals in a pop-up kitchen in the back of an abandoned funeral home, or taking an improv class that may or may not be a secret gateway into a tax-exempt cult.
And just like all of those other people, I too had some side projects. Being around so many optimistic and passionate people who thought their thing was going to be the next big thing was contagious. Sorry, that’s not a good word to use in a pandemic. How about if I say their optimism and their drive was infectious? That’s worse. Sorry. You get what I’m saying though.
I love to write. And I thought maybe it was time I try to do more with writing. So I did, mostly with blogging on my own and very much for free. But soon after, I was fortunate enough to be a part of an amazing team of talented writers at the incredibly popular blog LAist. Thank you Tony! (Follow him here.)
While thinking about all of the great opportunities that my writing at LAist brought me; I got to see Prince twice, interview some of my heroes, and actually even had some (not a lot, but some) fans of my writing, I’m also thinking about how I could’ve done so much more. Not just with the platform LAist gave me but overall, I feel like I could’ve done more with my love of writing and all the places it could’ve taken me.
That is the real source of the melancholy I feel when I think about Los Angeles. I didn’t do more.
As Bill Murry said, melancholy isn’t a negative thing, it’s just something that happens in life… like autumn. Now let me go bundle up and head over to Dunkin’ for something, anything pumpkin spiced to drink away the pain of days gone by and missed opportunities.
Come back for part three! Hopefully later today or tomorrow.
Tim Hammill is a communications professional in the nonprofit sector. He’s turning 40 on October 20, 2020. He’s writing about the final stretch to this milestone age in 40 Days to 40, a collection of stories, thoughts, reflections and whatever else comes to mind each day. In addition to writing a blog, Tim has also decided to donate his birthday to This Is My Brave, an organization he very recently learned about that brings stories of mental illness and addiction out of the shadows and into the spotlight. If you’d like to support Tim’s birthday fundraiser, go here.
Additionally, there are three other organizations that are close to Tim’s heart: Save the Children, Stand Up To Cancer and the Bridgeport YMCA. Click on each to learn more and to support their work.
