Ranking “Scooby-Doo” Characters by Their Lovemaking Skills

5. Daphne

Yeah, she’s the pretty one. But she knows it. Daphne comes from a wealthy family and expects everything handed to her. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and that’s about the only thing that’s been in there.

4. Shaggy

For such a chill dude, he’s got no chill. Every time he sees a pair of boobs he can’t help but shout out “Zoinks!” This shit might have worked in the 70’s, but now it’s a real mood killer.

(not ranked) Scrappy-Doo

This guy provides an answer to the age old question: Yeah, size matters. But the reason he’s not ranked is he’s a shit character. As soon as you see Scrappy-Doo you might as well turn it off, because he ruins every episode. Get the fuck out of here, Scrappy-Doo.

3. Fred

He’s not the best at reading signals, but if you’re patient he can show you a few moves. Fred’s known for his striptease where he really works that orange ascot. He spent a number of years at a male burlesque club in downtown Detroit and he puts that experience to good use.

2. Velma

Everyone knows that Velma is into some freaky shit. Why the fuck do you think she’s always losing her glasses? She has the reputation as the brains of the group, but you know she wears that skirt for easy access. Jinkies!

1. Scooby

This guy likes it ruff. How do you think he got the show named after him? (Sleeping his way to the top.). I know we’re talking about the sexual prowess of an animated dog, but let’s be real. Scooby Snacks aren’t the only thing he’s good at eating.