Fire(Y)
I think I lead a fairly normal, if not slightly chaotic life. My actions only ever negatively effect myself (Although I'm sure I offer some emotional strain on my parents, through natural tendency) I often sit and crave more extremism in my day to day living and hate that I find pressure in the most unimportant situations. I have a knack for sweating the small stuff. In a crisis or when the shit is hitting the fan I find I gain perfect clarity, its almost as though everything is so perfectly constructed. Like I was expecting to need this package of ‘here’s your kit for when it fucks up’. In arguments I am the worst. I get on my verbal high horse and eliminate my opponent with such a dictionary of patronisation. I am really not sure where it comes from, next level sarcasm isn’t big nor is it clever. (It can be very clever)Feels good in the moment though. I am not an arsehole. By no means. Nor am I insecure, it’s just an uncontrollable passion that’s unleashed when I feel I am right. My passion needs to be smarter though. Controlling a fire is so much more challenging and engaging than letting it blaze through without a care of the consequences. But the thing that confuses me is that I have no problem saying sorry. After the moment has passed, I have no pride in apologising. I may put it down to being an Aries, but that’s only to please the stars, I know I’m doing it, being a fire cracker and sarcastic and passionate has its airs and graces but I know its something I need to leave for my most tolerant and adored individuals, not everyone. I think there’s a level of acceptance from my nearest and dearest because they know the bones of how I function. I just don’t suffer stupidity. Won’t be motivated by idiots and care (if anything, too much) about everything I do.
To that end, maybe I will only ever continue to smolder with those that are passive, crackle and spit at those that are foolish and really blaze with those that stoke me.
Certain fires in people ignite for a reason. My fires rarely die out. I think its probably about understanding that you can control temperature and burn time. But if a fire starts its because there’s fuel and energy and that’s a positive. The effects of fires can be devastating, some flames serve to warm and comfort. Mine have never caused serious harm. Just need to temper them. Use a fire blanket once in a while.
