My First Day of Work. (I worry, a lot.)
I’m not going to lie, I’ve had a few first days at a few different workplaces…
And I’d LOVE to tell you that they were all different, unique and special.
Unfortunately, that would be a fib.
Nope, my first day at pretty much every single workplace has turned out the same; a whirlwind of fear, anxiety and sometimes even sheer panic.
(I’m a bit of a worrier you see…)
You may recognise some of these feelings, thoughts and emotions, you may not and to be honest you may just think I’m strange.
But here it is… the first days of work through the eyes of a worrier…
After rudely being awoken by a screaming alarm clock…
WTF?
7am already?
Where did my eight hours go..?
Is this outfit too smart? It looked different last night…
What the hell shall I wear? Is that toothpaste on the sleeve? I’ll just lick that off… yup there, perfect.
Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast..? Nah — I’ll grab some on the way.
Please don’t be delayed…I promise I’ll never eat chocolate again if this train is not delayed. I promise I’ll start exercising more too.
I promise I’ll give more to…
…HOORAY it’s here!
It was a 50/50 chance though right? Not quite “miracle-y” enough to give up chocolate…
Wait — why have we stopped just outside the station?! I can literally see the platform…go…go…go!
I should have had breakfast.
I made it! Only half an hour early… Probably overestimated the journey a little bit. That’s OK, it’s good to look keen.
Now, how to get into the building? Is this the right door?
It’s locked…I’m screwed.
Ohhh, so you just go ahead and pull that door…thanks kind stranger.
No — not kind stranger, kind new colleague.
We’ll laugh about this one day, right?
Introduction time, look clever. No, look calm.
Too many names…brain overload. What was that? Jake, Jack, Jark?
Well played…nice little joke about inability to remember everyone’s names.
Classic.
So this is where I will be spending the next few years of my life…definitely did not need to buy an entire drawer worth of pens.
Oh no, where’s Jake, Jack, Jark gone..? Should I be doing something? What are my orders..?
NOOO not the phone!
Do I pick up? It’s obviously not for me… what’s the company name again?
Ignore it…it will stop.
PLEASE stop.
I really need the toilet.
Oh thank god, the boss is here! Jan! Over here, I’m over here!
Stop waving so emphatically, you look weird.
She was nicer in the interview…
So many forms. Why would they need to know that? What exactly am I signing myself up for here..?
I REALLY should’ve asked about the toilet.
Did my stomach just gurgle? Did anyone hear? He definitely heard. Oh great!
Thanks so much for drawing attention to the orchestra in my stomach by offering me your half-eaten bag of crisps.
Why do you hate me?!
When does the work start?
Wonder where everyone eats. I hope someone offers to eat with me…
Hallelujah! A friend, I’ve made a friend. Of course I will go to lunch with you!
Forget everything that I just thought, we will be best friends forever!
Now show me this toilet.
Probably shouldn’t have had that Twix and cookie…or the foot-long Subway.
Must…eat… kindly offered homemade muffins….so full, so dry, so chocolaty.
I don’t know what I was worried about. I’m totally on a roll.
I can type so fast too, that must be impressive…
NOOOOOOO! Did my chair just make a farting noise..?
It wasn’t me!!!! Why is everyone averting their eyes? IT WAS THE CHAIR!
Thank god that’s blown over. He’s gone awfully quiet…why does everyone hate me? Jan looks mad.
What have I done?
Jan’s a nice woman.
I wonder if you’re allowed on social media…
Woo! 5pm. I made it! Time to go home and celebrate, with a nice early night. Wait — why is no one leaving..?
Shall I leave..? Can I leave..? Look busy, wait it out…
OK, it’s fine, so you missed your train, you can wait around in the office for the next one, it’s fine. You’re chilled…
Oh wait now I have to leave…
Just a nice little 45 minute wait at the train station…
Home, at last.
16 hours till it starts all over again…
Tomorrow I’ll be ready.
Nope? Just me then…
OK, maybe I’m exaggerating slightly (I do that) but lets be honest, for most of us that first day at work is bloody daunting.
And that’s why it’s so important to have a strong onboarding process.
And no, I don’t just mean a quick chat about health and safety, before “throwing them in at the deep end.”
You need to think about things like…
- Going out to lunch.
- The unwritten rules of the office.
- Making sure they know what they’re supposed to be doing, at all times.
Sounds easy enough. But these “little” things often get forgotten.
So, whether you’re a manager or not, next time you glance around the office and see a newbie, extend the hand of friendship, start a conversation, break the ice. That tiny, teeny gesture could really (really) make a difference.
Trust me.
