The Placement Rant — Sorry for the disappointment

For the past few days I’ve been thinking about the new blog I wanted to write. And I wasn’t quite sure of the topic. But it struck me, in the middle of a group discussion of a corporate campus hiring process. Yes, I had registered for placement process, I apologize.

My purpose behind sitting for placements wasn’t to get placed, it was to learn from the process. And that process has taught me a lot. Now I know exactly how you shouldn’t hire.

Let’s look at what the placement preparation actually makes you do. It makes you practice aptitude and logic questions, it makes you practice guesstimates and case solving, it makes you revise concepts you probably haven’t heard of. While academically all this does sound good, it is all in vain when you make it to the next round — group discussion.

Group discussion is full timepass. While in most companies you can make past this stage by just speaking a line in fluent English, others ask more from you. Like speaking one line to address everyone and one line to close, and one line to encourage others to speak that one line of English I spoke about previously. While they claim that they want to see your leadership skills, group discussion is doing it wrong. I fail to understand, maybe due to lack of experience, how speaking articulated bullshit can get you a step closer to getting hired.

Now you’ve passed the GD, feel proud of yourself. You’re a leader right there. There comes the PI — Personal Interview. This is your time to shine and convince them that from the leader you were previously, you will be their slave from now. You reason out by saying that the package the company is offering is a good enough incentive for you to sit for the job. Looks like loyalty can be bought.

Hiring is almost like BITS department recruitments. Either you possess a certain skill set which they can use you for. Or you are a good fit for the people. Either you are a smart tool or a loyal servant. The only difference is this bullshit could last for more than just 4 years.

This post could seem offensive for those actively seeking a job. Honestly, just ask yourself, is this really what you want to do? Is this how you want your life to be? Talking someone else’s story for only to be heard by the recruiters. “Placement prep” is to figure out what is the best story I can say to please the recruiter. I am sorry buddy, because even if I get hired by using methods as such, I am just adding to the pile of shit you guys already might have created by hiring people like me.

So let me get things straight, we all want to live a life of full potential. I was talking to Gaur Gopal Prabhu the other day, who is one of most renowned sadhus in ISKCON. And he said to me, “You’re a Marwari, live upto your potential, start your own business.” While quoting Him might be inaccurate, I got the point. I look around, my family, relatives, cousins and I realize, we are job givers and not job takers. We believe in creating jobs rather than slaving for them. And they understand the most fundament truth — The motivation needed for work is something money can’t buy.

I’d rather hire someone who has built a product than an intern at XYZ. why would I not prefer being a leader and try to create something on my own than watch others do the magic. What recruiter would appreciate an intern more than a person who has taken the initiative to do something different. Let’s look at this objectively. The best companies and B-schools look for extra ordinary people. And these aren’t people who you find interning at XYZ. These are people who have taken initiative to do something different, something others haven’t. That’s what makes them extra ordinary.

To be fair, I think registering for placements was kind of deliberate. Have I told you we are working on a professional-communication based platform. And the key here is — we need professionals to sign up for this. I paid Rs. X to sit for placements, which enabled me to openly pitch my product to a wide group of professionals. The less likely I was to get placed in a company after my personal interview, the more chances for me to pitch Quorg to new set of professionals. At one point, I literally awaited every new company who came on campus to atleast select me till their PI round. And I was ready, with all my “placement prep”, to bomb the interview with my app. Calculating the ROI, this is the cheapest marketing I have done.

So here is to all the recruiters who have come down, I am sorry for wasting your time. I am sorry because I didn’t say things you want to hear; the tool you want me to be. Because my life is a book and not a single sheet of paper, because my life is a movie and not a 2 minute pitch, because I have a story of my own, and I want people to want to hear that.

To the people who might have lost faith in me for sitting for a job, don’t. Quorg is coming out soon. Sign up for our beta to keep up.