The Tale Of A Dry Pussy Cat From Miragepur

…Or, Dating as a 33-year-old Radical Feminist.

Vaishnavi Sundar
Nov 4 · 4 min read
Lucian Bernhard — Woman and Cat (source)

I wish I could say this post is NSFW; that you can expect something spicy in it. But lamentably, this post is so safe that you can force people from work to read it, and still not get fired.

Like most Indians belonging to the social media woke cliques, I, too, warmed the seats of armchair feminism long enough. I tried so hard to be part of every group, every community that had the word Feminism written on it, that I mistakenly joined “Burn Feminists.” I believed that feminism can’t get better than the celebration of individual choice and agency, I went all out in defending every possible oppression there was, in the name of ‘choice’. There were many suitors within such groups for me to go on a date with, and I was spoilt for… choices. I should have made the most of it back then, but the inevitable happened.

I found #ChoiceFeminism to be blatantly myopic to its shortcomings. I started finding issues with the way these wOkE groups were defending themselves with morally bankrupt arguments and militantly kicking anyone out with opposing views. The exploration of said opposing views brought me to a profound awakening, and that is when I threw myself into radical feminist literature. The more I read the arguments by these authors*, the more I could relate to it. It struck me as the kind of feminism we need, feminism as it should be. There was no ambiguity in their approach: fighting for women’s sex-based rights and prioritising women in every context. As I joyfully, and at times tearfully, consumed these books, I could no longer identify with anything a majority of groups claimed to believe. I was kicked out of every one of them, and I eventually quit Facebook altogether.

It was rather funny how the already sparse dating pool of a 30 something openly feminist woman immediately dried up when she turned rad. An entire universe of wOkE bOiS from liberal circles was out; they didn’t want to have anything to do with a woman who finds BDSM oppressive and utterly dehumanising. The perverts and the prodigious right-wingers continue to remain available. Some penises could fuck an imaginary hole in the air. So were some men who thought they could exploit aspects of choice feminism for their benefit, and got their ass kicked when I said I won’t date a man who watches porn. “But come on, even women watch porn, I thought you were a “feminist”?” (Quotes were his, not mine). I was introduced to the abomination that is fEmiNiSt pOrN by a self-proclaimed “feminist ally” woke boi. He claimed that getting off on feminist porn was somehow good because the people in it were consenting adults. He got that from his vast and exhaustive research comprising one-book: Richa Kaul Padte’s Cyber Sexy. Of course, you can look at the face of a woman who is performing such horrifying acts and immediately detect consent from her face. I have been such a fool not to employ this methodology; the years I wasted not watching women gag and being spat on.

On the one hand, I am repulsed just looking at men and wish every single one of them who don’t consider women as equal, disappear. And on the other, I also believe that not everyone will be swayed by the liberal cult, that there must be some men who can see through this bullshit. I wonder at times if feminists are the only ones who still believe there might be goodness in men. I stand by every word that Gail Dines said,

“Amazing how feminists are called man-haters given we are the only group that truly believes in men’s capacity to change. We are the only group that argues that men are not born rapists, johns, pimps, batterers, but are socialized into violence via the culture. Feminists are in fact man’s best friends because we refuse to collapse into the hopelessness of biological determinism.”

The whole world has blurred the lines of sex, sexual orientation, and gender stereotypes; a cult that is hell-bent on erasing biological women. A man-made world that loves to play the victim by exaggerating their own “oppression” while simultaneously downplaying how they oppress women. Some sort of rabid persistence in gaining access to female-only spaces, ergo making women more and more averse to men and penises. How can a heterosexual woman find a partner that hasn’t fallen into this hellish trap? All my conversations with girlfriends have unanimously led me to celibacy. All of us have come to believe there is no such thing as a man who won’t hire a prostitute by justifying it as “work,” or watch pornography and/or expect women to perform. While it sucks to not be romantically involved or fall in love with someone, it feels much better to be alone than to find an odd stash of porn hidden in a folder named “java!”

I enjoy reading the Gender Critical subreddit because I feel like I am not alone in this game. It is a game we may lose, but at least we will lose together. My allegiance to celibacy strengthened through this post because a good majority recommends it. Not as a case of sour grapes, but as a true celebration of spinsterhood. As for me — an Indian “man-hating feminazi” who is too stuck up — this dating sojourn might come to an end soon. Men have made penises despicable for straight women like me, just as it would be for lesbians.

As for the pussycat of Miragepur… A permanent drought has hit her town; so instead of waiting, she decided to move to No-man-pur in search of a better life. Possibly with herself!

Vaishnavi Sundar

Written by

Writer. Self-taught filmmaker. Animal lover. I always put Women First. Wiki: bit.ly/vaishax

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