
Remembering the Man (2016)
Directed by Eleanor Sharpe, Nickolas Bird. Waterbyrd Filmz.
What a wonderful find.
An oral history project by the National Library of Australia, designed to preserve the stories of AIDS victims, featured an interview with writer Tim Conigrave not long before he died. Filmmakers Nickolas Bird and Eleanor Sharpe found the recording, which meant the author of much-loved Australian memoir Holding the Man narrates part of his own story in their recent documentary, Remembering the Man.
The filmmakers use the device to good effect. Conigrave is articulate and matter-of-fact as he lays out his life with high-school sweetheart John Caleo. Old footage, stills and interviews with the pair’s close-knit group of friends all help flesh out the romance. They also use reenactments, although they sometimes distract from the story rather than add to it and could have been used more sparingly, or not at all. Those interviewed are lively enough to animate the story
Benjamin Law a few years ago wrote this lovely reflection on Holding the Man. He said the book may have struck such a cord because it is essentially a love story — one that had ended in death, which even the longest-lasting love stories must. In that sense, Conigrave and Caleo’s tale is universal.
Remembering the Man does not quite capture the essence of their relationship in the way that the book did — perhaps it never could. There would always be a huge hole at the heart of the film.
That is not to say that Remembering the Man does not make an impression. It is deeply moving. The way their friends speak about how Caleo and Conigrave got together is touching. The historic footage showing the bigotry and hatred gay and lesbian Australians faced is infuriating. The recent tragedy of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Australia is heart breaking.

