From stubble to Prince Vultan, my year of beard growth in five photos
5x5 This weekend marks a year since I set off around the world to refresh my life, and it’s also a year since I had a full shave. I August I looked at the first five months of beardage, so here’s a happy birthday to my beard in five more pics.
1 March 2015 Here I am at Sydney Zoo, which is a fine zoo with a terrific view of Sydney Harbour. The beard is about three weeks old and still little more than lazy stubble.
2 May 2016 Three months in and this is a beard. Thick, luxuriant and yet to feel the barber’s blade, there’s a ‘tache over my top lip and a soup-dipper is reaching out under the bottom lip. It was just what I needed for the chilly Mongolian steppes.
Top tip: I returned to the UK about three weeks after this was taken, and the automatic face recognition at Heathrow didn’t recognise me from my eight-year-old passport photo. The Border Force officer had a good giggle as she waved me through.
3 September 2016 Back in the UK and my Peckham beard-wrangler (turn right out of Peckham Rye Station and say hello) has brought the cthonic beast under control. I’m here with blackbearded Rob and chinfluffed Jody.
At this stage, I’ve taken to the use of beard oil for keeping those silvery strands silky-soft. Soup and noodles are high risk foods. Surprisingly, so are burgers unless you eat them with a knife and fork. It’s a good job I’ve cut down on the fried chicken, too — it’s become the meal that keep on giving.
4 January 2017 Winter arrives late, and suddenly my beard is leaping out in front as I zip up my coat. I quickly learn the eye-watering pain of discovering you’ve got your beard caught in a zipper. On the other hand, it’s an efficient way to catch lost popcorn in the cinema, and you can clean it with a handheld vacuum cleaner.
5 March 2017 Here we are with a yearling beard that’s got a touch of the Blessed’s about it. It’s heading for a trim in the next couple of weeks and those cheek-lines need straightening up. It’s enough beard that random strangers will call it out in the street, especially when the pubs are kicking out.
I said I’d grow it for a year and then make up my mind…I’m curious to see if it will grow much longer and it’s big enough to experiment with funky shapes. I’ll see how I feel in March 2018.
