Five things to expect from Monkey Monday

Alex Lane
Five by five
Published in
3 min readAug 22, 2016

5x5 Having decided to give every day of 5x5 a theme, I thought I’d set a week aside to explain what I’d like to do with each day. Today’s Monkey Monday, so here are few things to look forward to (beyond the fact that I just like monkeys).

Monty and Molly enjoy a sunny day in New York

1 Monkey travels I rarely travel long distances without a simian companion, so there are always opportunities for them to pose around the landmarks of the world. That’s got to be better than my terrible selfie-faces.

Bongo. You know he was very sick later

2 Bongo and Sandy Bongo joined the Peckham collective around five years ago and happily played his drums when he wasn’t monkeying about, but it wasn’t until March that he was plucked from relative obscurity to join my travels around Australasia and found his feet as would-be leader of the world. These days he’s always accompanied by his friend and enforcer, Sandy the camel, who doesn’t really understand cameras and is often out of focus.

Real monkeys will feature

3 Real monkey news There will be occasional interruptions to the whimsical childishness of the Monday Monkey, prompted by real monkey stories. Hopefully these will be mostly in the science and conservation field, and not Karl Pilkington-esque Chimpanzee That tales where a monkey robs a shop. Unless it really happened.

They’re all monkeys, even Dino

4 They’re all monkeys, but they’re not all monkeys Pedants will have observed that I use ‘monkey’ in a casual sense that includes the great apes, lesser apes and monkeys, of the organic and domestic toy varieties. The Peckham monkey troupe also includes a few honorary monkeys as well as Sandy, including Dino the hungry dinosaur, Monsieur M’Oublier, Metro the Lion and Roary the Tiger.

This is not fair on the orangutan

5 Wrong ‘uns will not be compared to monkeys Simian similes are a lazy way to caricature the Donald Trumps of the world, and this sort of monkeyist language is a huge insult to primates of all kinds. As for having a monkey on your back, well what could be better?

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Alex Lane
Five by five

I write what I want to, when I want to. If you’re interested in the novels I’m writing, take a look at www.alexanderlane.co.uk