You Can’t Predict the Bad Days

Photo by Abbie Bernet on Unsplash

And, boy, they come in a whole lot of flavors.

I tried, last night. I honestly tried. I thought that I would feel better if I went to bed at something approaching a humanly decent hour. So I got myself into bed at something approaching a human hour — 1 AM — turned off the TV and tried to catch some Zs.

Is it wrong of me to hope that, one of these days, sleep will actually lead to me feeling good?

I spent a total of 12 hours in bed, which netted a little over 8 hours of sleep. I’m debating about whether or not I’m going to bore all of you with the hypnograms that Fitbit’s been giving me, but needless to say, I feel like absolute shit.

Even my blessed Diet Coke isn’t helping this one.

My days don’t ask too much out of me. A couple of Medium posts, go through the Ninja Writer Facebook and email accounts, a daily sonnet, some reading and clapping for Medium friends, and a little bit of novel writing.

Okay, this is not going to be a blog where I repeatedly bitch about feeling tired. You don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want y’all running off to more optimistic blogs. There’s a point here, and I promise I’ll get to it.

The thing is, most days, you can work through the shit that the world throws at you. You work through the fatigue, the being broke, the feeling like a water buffalo after coming up with the bright idea that drinking more water is going to make you feel better somehow.

And other days, that shit’s gonna run you aground. All you’re gonna do is sink in the water.

Sometimes, you’ll be lucky, and you can feel that stuff sneaking up on you. You can prepare yourself, declare a mental health day, and clear your schedule.

But there’ll be those days where you wake up and you’re raring to go. You’re ready to tackle the world, but your body has other ideas. The spirit is willing, but the body’s gone fishing up shit creek.

Even if an off day is a day that you can’t afford. Even if it’s a disaster.

You’ve got two options: push through it and take any win as a full-blown success, or plant the white flag early and scurry off to bed. Both are valid options, depending on the day and how you’re feeling.

Even though I’d like nothing more than to crawl back into bed, for now, I’m still trying to work. I’ll take whatever little I can get.

Here’s hoping tomorrow’s better.